Article by Maya Vukovska
F. Scott Fitzerald once said, “Everybody’s youth is a dream, a form of medical madness.” Madness or not, we all desperately strive to hold on to youth as long as possible, be it through the means of botox injections, yoga, unorthodox diets, green tea, sports, and meditation. We are eager to drink directly from the Fountain of Youth, and this thirst often leads us into the solicitous arms of someone decades younger than ourselves. There have always been gluttonous boy chasers - from Alexander the Great, Leonardo da Vinci, and Oscar Wilde in the past. Ah, the temptation of youth - how sweet, yet treacherous and wicked it can be!
You find teens absolutely irresistible, and you totally fancy a romance with that college fratboy with the sleek athletic body you meet every Tuesday at the public swimming pool.
Here are the things you must be aware of when entering a relationship with a twink.
Some people might not be as accepting.
Although your relationship is totally kosher in the eyes of the law, it still might be difficult to shake off the traditional prejudices. Age-gap romances between gay men are treated differently than those between straight people. While disturbing Lolita cases are seen as captivating fictional love stories, romantic relationships between an adult male and a boy in his teens are still subject of scrutiny.
Give them a pass
You’ll be surprised how often negotiations of power are present in older-younger gay relationships. On many occasions, you’ll feel the uncontrollable impulse to give him one of these “When I was your age” lectures. But before you do so, you need to remember where your teen boyfriend’s coming from, and give him a break. Even if he is upset about something you find ridiculously unimportant or trivial, your sage life advice just won’t do. Do your best to bite your tongue.
Sex will be a learning curve.
He will have less sexual experience than you (smootches and handjobs in high school locker rooms don’t really count), so at the beginning of the relationship, you have to expect he’ll be way TOO enthusiastic about having real, full-blown sex. Meaning, he might bust his nut even before you have unbuttoned your shirt. Of course, there’s a possibility he’s not a late bloomer at all, and at the age of 18, he has already had more sexual partners than you. Either case scenario, things in bed will work for both of you if you try to take it as slow OR as fast as the circumstances require.
Getting along with their friends can be trickier.
Although you get just fine with your teen lover, his buddies might not be there yet. Instead of trying your a** off to fit his squad, just soak up the facts, and make an agreement that you both get some alone time in your respective friend circles.
He doesn’t want to play house.
Not all young people have commitment issues, true! However, it is very likely your teen partner doesn’t fully realize the meaning of being in a relationship. But can you blame him? What were YOU doing when he was his age? Your much younger boyfriend hasn’t figured many things out, he’s still unsettled, and doesn’t have a clear view of his career and his life in general. This means you two are hardly on the same page when it comes to signing the commitment lease together.
He is way too serious.
That’s the flip side of the coin. Teens tend to take almost everything as serious as if it were the end of the world. Every little fight may throw your guy in the center of a tornado of emotions - he hates you, he loves you, he hates you again, but then again he loves you “forever”. That’s why, it may be even harder to break up with a gay teen than lure him into a long-lasting relationship. Giving someone their first heartbreak can be a burden, so be careful and diplomatic when delivering the news that he was just another notch on your belt.