Rise and shine, babes... and I do mean rise. 🌞 Morning sex is one of life’s simple pleasures, like iced coffee, bottomless brunch, and random hot guys walking shirtless down your street. But let’s be honest, getting it right takes a little… finesse. If you want to turn your sleepy-eyed smooching into a full-blown (literally) morning delight, here are six tips you definitely need.

1. Accept That Morning Breath is Part of the Deal

Look, no one is waking up with minty-fresh dragon breath. If it bothers you that much, do a quick stealth mission to the bathroom for a rinse and gargle. Or just embrace the chaos and let love be stronger than the scent of last night’s garlic fries. We’re grown. We know what bodies do.

2. Prep the Plumbing

If your digestive system is clockwork (and you know “dropping the kids off at the pool” is inevitable), maybe schedule sexytime after you handle your business. Pro tip: a quick shower after your morning ritual (maybe even a fast lil’ bottom cleanse if needed) can have you feeling fresh, clean, and ready to be someone’s breakfast.

3. Lower Your Expectations — In a Hot Way

Morning sex doesn’t have to be Olympic-level acrobatics. Sometimes it’s lazy, slow, half-asleep grinding. Sometimes it’s just mutual morning wood appreciation with a couple grunts and giggles. Sometimes it’s literally just one of you aggressively humping the other until it’s done. And honestly? Hot.

4. Lube is Your BFF

You might be sleepy, but don’t skip the essentials. Morning wood is cute, but natural lubrication might not be awake yet. Keep a bottle of lube by the bed like the responsible adult you are. Your hole (or your man’s) will thank you.

5. Communicate… Gently

If you’re not feeling it — and babe, sometimes you’re just not — it’s okay to say no. Or suggest an IOU: “Not right now, but I’ll make it up to you tonight, daddy.” Morning people and night owls can coexist, but only if you’re honest about what your body (and your butthole) are up for at 7AM.

6. Make It A Habit (If You Want)

Morning sex doesn’t have to be a surprise event every time. Maybe you plan for sexy mornings once or twice a week. Maybe Sunday is now Suckday. If you set a routine, your body — and your digestive system — will start getting with the program.

At the end of the day (or the start of it), morning sex is supposed to be FUN. It’s not about choreographing the perfect porno scene; it’s about rolling over, seeing someone you want to devour, and having the audacity to do it before coffee. ❤️

Now go forth, you glorious sweaty messes, and bless the world with your morning wood energy!