6 Ways to Stop Being Self-Conscious and Start Having More Sex

Some of y’all are out here overthinking yourself out of orgasms. We’re in the golden age of gay sex, and yet, some of you are stuck in your heads worrying about your imperfections. Newsflash: Nobody cares if you’ve got a few stretch marks, an awkward laugh, or a rogue pimple on your left cheek. Stop playing shy and start playing, period! Let me sprinkle some wisdom on how to stop being self-conscious and start giving your bedroom the grand opening it deserves.

1. Nobody Notices the Little Things

Listen, honey, no one is zooming in on your love handles like they’re the Zapruder film. People are too busy worrying about their own insecurities to care about yours. That pimple? Irrelevant. That little extra jiggle? Baby, some of us love a little jiggle! And if they don’t? That’s their boring-ass problem. Confidence is the real turn-on here—own it!

2. Perfection Is Overrated

Ever hooked up with someone so hot you’d think they were sculpted by Michelangelo, only to realize they’re as exciting as plain oatmeal? Being “perfect” isn’t what makes you sexy—being real does. Show your personality, let your freak flag fly, and be unapologetically you. Trust me, confidence will outshine abs every day of the week (though, if you do have abs, congrats—still be interesting).

3. Get Out of Your Head (and Into Their Pants)

Overthinking is the ultimate buzzkill. You’re lying there thinking, “Oh no, is my butt too hairy?” while they’re thinking, “I want to bury my face in that peach.” We’re all our own worst critics, but that internal monologue isn’t helping anyone. Turn it off, focus on the moment, and enjoy the fact that someone wants to climb you like a tree.

4. Take Care of What You Can, Then Let It Go

Yes, self-care is sexy! If there’s something bugging you that you can fix (like grooming, skin care, or showering—please shower), then handle it and move on. But once you’ve done your part, stop nitpicking every little thing. You’re not a museum exhibit; you’re a human being who deserves love and orgasms, imperfections and all.

5. Start Small

Not ready for a full-on naked romp? Start with flirty conversations, casual makeouts, or even just posting that slightly thirstier selfie online. Confidence is a muscle—you’ve got to flex it. The more you put yourself out there, the more you’ll realize that nobody’s out here judging you like you’re on RuPaul’s Drag Race.

6. Remember: Sex Can Be for Everyone

You don’t need to look like a Greek god to have mind-blowing sex. There’s someone out there for everyone—whether you’re a twink, bear, otter, or something gloriously undefinable. The sooner you stop thinking of your “flaws” as flaws, the sooner you’ll realize they’re just parts of your unique, sexy self.

So, my loves, let’s make a pact. The next time you start spiraling about something nobody cares about (like that one mole on your shoulder), remind yourself that confidence is hot, imperfections are normal, and life’s too short to be missing out on orgasms. Go out there, get your groove on, and remember: You are the main character. 💋