Alright, girlies, gather ‘round. We need to talk.

Lately, I’ve been seeing a whole lot of folks acting like a 23-year-old dating a 20-year-old is a war crime. Some of y’all are out here throwing around words like “grooming” when the only grooming happening is me trimming my beard before a date. Now, let’s be clear—there are real power imbalances and exploitative relationships in this world, but a three-year age gap between two adults is not the scandalous, life-destroying crisis some people make it out to be.

The Moral Panic of It All

Somewhere along the way, we went from (rightfully) calling out predatory behavior to thinking anyone with a slight age difference is problematic. Like, babe, a 22-year-old dating a 19-year-old is not some power-hungry villain twisting their mustache and preying on innocent twinks. Sometimes people just like each other. Sometimes that person is two, three, even five years older. And guess what? That’s fine.

Now, before someone clutches their pearls and types out a furious comment: YES, there need to be boundaries. YES, an 18-year-old dating a 45-year-old is gonna raise some eyebrows (and some therapy bills later on). YES, workplace relationships with bosses and subordinates get real messy real fast. But can we all take a deep breath and recognize that two consenting adults close in age are just… two consenting adults close in age?

Love Is Love (And So Is Lust, Babe)

If we really believe in the whole “love is love” thing, then we should let people date who they want without needing to analyze it like a true crime documentary. Because, at the end of the day, sometimes a 27-year-old and a 21-year-old are just vibing and fucking because they like each other—not because of some secret, sinister agenda.

The gay community, of all people, should know this better than anyone. If you’ve ever been to a gay bar, you’ve probably seen a twink clinging to a daddy like a Koala on a eucalyptus tree, and you know what? That’s their business. As long as there’s mutual respect, no coercion, and no weird “I just graduated high school last week” situations, we do not need to be judging relationships we know nothing about.

What Actually Matters

Instead of obsessing over minor age differences, let’s focus on what really makes a relationship healthy:

Respect – Is one person calling all the shots while the other just nods along?

Mutual attraction & emotional connection – Are they both in it for the right reasons, or is one just looking for an ATM or a therapist?

Consent & autonomy – Is everyone here voluntarily, or does someone feel pressured to stay? 

Final Thoughts

At the end of the day, let people date, let people fuck, and let’s stop acting like a 25-year-old is a predator for dating a 21-year-old. Relationships should be judged on their dynamics, not some arbitrary number difference. So unless someone’s out here dating a 19-year-old and calling them “baby girl” while paying their rent, maybe we should all just mind our business and let love (or lust) happen.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some age-appropriate men to go flirt with. 😘