Are You on Vacation or Just Hookup-Touring the Coastline?
So you booked a “quiet beach getaway.” Just you, the ocean breeze, and… oh look, you’ve already “reconnected” with half the locals before you even checked into your hotel.
We’re not judging. In fact, we’re kind of impressed.
Because summer isn’t just about sunsets and sea breezes. It’s about flirtation, freedom, and the totally casual fact that you seem to have a new favorite “local friend” in every coastal city you visit.
Let’s unpack this travel fantasy (and maybe your jockstrap pouch too).
You say you’re here for the “culture,” but you packed four jockstraps, mesh shorts, and zero actual pants.
No sunscreen, but somehow remembered body oil, your hottest swim briefs, and a suggestively sheer tank top. Fascinating.
You “just happen” to know where all the hot spots are—even though it’s your first time here.
Whether it’s the gay beach, the rooftop party, or the hotel pool where people mysteriously never wear swimsuits, your internal GPS is suspiciously well-tuned.
You’ve mastered the post-swim thirst trap.
Wet hair. Low-rise boy bikini. That perfect lean-back pose that shows off just enough. You caption it “just vibing,” but we all know you’re casting a wide net.
You said this trip was about relaxing… yet you seem very busy.
Your phone keeps buzzing, your location is always shared, and your “beach walk” turned into a two-hour excursion with a stranger you just met. Rest and relaxation? Not exactly—but we support the cardio.
You’re “taking it slow,” but your jockstrap has seen more action this week than your suitcase.
To be fair, you packed light. And tight. And strategically. So really, you’re just making the most of limited space.
Here’s the thing: there’s absolutely nothing wrong with a little pleasure tourism. You’re hot, you’re on vacation, and everyone else is feeling just as flirtatious under the sun. Whether you’re making out under the fireworks or “getting to know” someone during a spontaneous skinny dip, you’re living the dream.
Summer is for stories. For sweat. For strangers who leave you smiling in the morning and tan lines that require explanation.
So if you’re sun-kissed, suspiciously well-moisturized, and walking around like you’re the final boss of international flirtation… good for you.
Just remember to hydrate, say thank you, and maybe wear something a little tight the next time you “accidentally” bump into someone cute by the water.
