Ask Agatha: I Like to Watch... Does That Make Me a Cuck?

Dear Agatha,

So here’s the tea. I’ve recently discovered that I really enjoy watching. Like, sometimes I’m more turned on watching my partner do stuff than doing it myself. I don’t mean watching in the “Netflix and chill” sense—I mean watching. Watching him with someone else. Watching videos of him. Even just watching him take control while I’m… strategically out of the way.

Does this mean I’m a cuckold? Should I be worried that this is weird? Or is this just another one of those “kinks that shall not be named” situations? Help!

Sincerely,

Just Peepin’

Dear Peepin’,

Oh, honey. You’re not weird. You’re not broken. You’re just… watching the show. And you’ve got front row seats, so enjoy them.

First off, let’s retire the idea that “watching” is some kind of freaky outlier in the sexual menu. People have been turned on by watching since cave paintings. Ever heard of porn? That’s literally billions of people saying, “Yes, I’ll take some of that visual stimulation, please.” You’re just giving the genre a very personal, very live twist. Bravo!

Now, about that word—“cuckold.” Some folks wear it like a leather harness at a Sunday Funday party, and others flinch like you just insulted their mother’s lasagna. If it turns you on and it’s consensual and no one’s getting hurt, then guess what? It’s your kink. You don’t have to label it unless you want to—and if you do, label it something fierce. “Voyeur Extraordinaire”? “Master of the Balcony Seat”? “Backstage Daddy”? Own it.

But let’s talk logistics. Communication with your partner is key. If he knows you like to watch and he’s into it too, you two are already halfway to a very spicy Netflix original series of your own. If not, then it’s about finding balance between your pleasure and his comfort zone. Remember, watching doesn’t have to mean stepping out—it could be as simple as watching him take charge, letting him lead, or even recording yourselves (with consent!) and reliving the moment later with popcorn and lube.

At the end of the day, Peepin’, being turned on by what turns them on? That’s kind of beautiful. So whether you’re a full-blown window-peeker or just a guy who likes his partner in the spotlight, don’t shame the show. Revel in it.

Now if you’ll excuse me, someone just walked by my window in mesh shorts and I need to go… hydrate.

XOXO,

Agatha