Dear Agatha,  

I’m worried that there is something wrong with me. I cry during sex. A lot. Almost  every time I climax, tears flow, and I enjoy it. Again, a lot. I’m not sure why I even do it.  I absolutely don’t feel sad in the moment. The opposite, I’m blissed out. There isn’t a  lot out there about crying during sex, am I… I don’t know the right words, but is this a  normal reaction? Am I normal?  



Oh, sweetness, let’s get this out right away, there is nothing amiss about crying during  sex, or after an intense climax. It’s a reaction in the body to the release of emotions  that come along with overloading the self with pleasure. It’s also a compliment to you  and your partner/s to be able to let yourselves go so deeply. The trust. Beautiful.  

As for being worried about being “normal”, no, let’s never worry about that again.  Human sexual desires are all over the map. There is no one “right” way to express  your sexuality. It ebbs and flows throughout a life too. Let that judgement go right  away, no good comes from trying to bind yourself to one ideal ”normal” that doesn’t exist.  

About the why? Well, my little tea spoon of sugar, there are a few reasons that come  to mind. Since you already shared that they aren’t sad tears, but happy, we won’t  worry about them as being triggered as a trauma response. Where they could be  coming from is the flood of oxytocin that hits your system as you hover in that floating  feeling just before you orgasm. The “love hormone” releasing in waves can 100%  bring about everything from tears, to an intense feeling of relief, to a washing away of  stress, and even stripping the heart of sadness. She’s one potent biological drug and  you are most likely highly susceptible to her.  

Another reason could be, as you said, you like the act of crying - a lot. Allowing  yourself to show such raw vulnerability during the intensity of sex, it’s the ultimate  expression of living your true self. You are letting yourself go completely into a space that feels amazing to you. The tears hurt no one. You are naturally not suppressing  them thereby enabling that all encompassing soul deep drop we all should be so  fortunate to experience during an orgasm. And, it’s just perfectly glorious.  

As a nice bonus to being authentically tearfully you, you might even find yourself  even more desired than you are now. That crygasm you are enjoying is a very hot  commodity in our kinky lil world. There are many who find crying with a partner  during sex to be a massive turn on. It even comes with the fancy science-y name,  dacryphilia; meaning to love (philia) crying (dacry) derived from the pleasure of sex. If  you find yourself a little nervous with a new bedmate, communicate that you can and  will and love to cry upon release. You’ll probably find almost all are ready and willing  and excited to experience that raw sexual freedom with you. So, crymax away, you  darling!  

We hope these help you along. Embrace your tears. Your deeply felt emotions. Your  heartfelt connection with your paramours. Those tears are authentically, beautifully,  and uniquely you! Never stop letting them freely flow, sweet Sniffles.  



May 10, 2024 — Andrew Christian
Tags: Ask Agatha