Article by J Matthew Cobb
I must confess. As I’ve grown older and wiser, I’ve found myself in a very pivotal place when it comes to dating. Okay, for starters, I’m quickly approaching daddy status. That’s a given. But my taste buds, although always evolving, have been craving the more seasoned gent. I’m not going to use the term “older” because being older doesn’t always mean one is wiser or mature. It should, but I know plenty of older guys who are self-absorbed dicks and total jackasses. Being seasoned is another thing. Experience, texture, taste, preparedness, maturity – all these things can be attributed to the mighty dream daddy. Sure, everyone wants a guy with a dream career, good credit, charm, personality, class and a sexy bod, but there is something totally special about the visual aesthetic of a hot gentleman. Once you witness one in motion, you’re going to want to stay and watch the whole movie.
Now, let’s be fair here. In the last couple of years, we’ve seen an upward trend of popularity surrounding the lifestyle of the daddy archetype in queer culture. And yes, it’s even an exploited fantasy in pop culture, especially the never-ending thirst in securing a sugar daddy (sigh). Oh, there’s definitely a plus side to the daddy life, but let’s face it: With great power and awareness comes great responsibility. And let’s also add that growing old isn’t exactly a gay man’s playground. In recent years, there’s been a growing bloodsport surrounding ageism. And the dark conversation about toxic masculinity that’s now prevailing headlines and dinner table conversations across America has also made it hard for some guys to even flex their manhood.
But don’t let that burden of kryptonite be your downfall. Focusing on your super strengths will always get you ahead of the game and will set you up with endless possibilities for your love life and within your social circles.
Here are a few pointers on how to better exert your daddy powers. Whether you’re in need of brushing up on your skills or seeking to stick out more within the rat pack of society, these tips will help you navigate through the maze of discovery and lead you towards being a more polished gent.
Always be prepared.
As Father Time fires off its laundry list of bullshit (umm, like wrinkles, ailments, forgetfulness) at us, it’s always best to use every ounce of time wisely. A good way to “beat the clock” is by always being prepared. Arriving on time for things, especially for date night or that romantic rendezvous, are an indicator that you value others. And putting others before you isn’t exactly a sign of weakness; it’s actually an attribute of strength that shows off the art of hospitality. It’s also helps buffer up your organization skills. Being prepared just means you’re ready for the job, regardless of what the assignment is (wink, wink). And remember, like good karma, what good you put out into the cosmos will come back to you with good measure.
Work that grey.
In today’s world, there seems to be a plethora of grooming tips out there to play with. And with the event of aging comes a world of grey. Boasting a sexy grey or a lush salt and pepper look is always in order when it comes to defining mature men. Don’t be afraid to embrace it. And of course, style it up. Put the gay in grey. Put some pep in your hair step. Sporting a hot goat or a lumberjack beard? Saturate your whiskers with beard oil and other beard care resources. Oh, and if you’re bald, your work is cut down some. A sexy bald man never goes out of style. Still, you should take good care of that scalp.
Be more assertive.
If you’re shy by nature or according to your zodiac sign, you probably will have a difficult time trying to apply this tip. You simply can’t help who you are. But being forward, direct and approachable always make a cool buffer to any confrontation. Oftentimes, the physicality of mature guys can be intimidating and daunting for the inexperienced or the young. So don’t be overly abrasive with your personality. We know you want to show off your machoism, but it’s cool to be a gentle giant. Use a smart approach, work up the perfect conversation starters and you’ll get promising results.
Upgrade your allure
Depending on the time or day, it’s somewhat okay to show off that forever-21 mentality with your dress code. If it’s at the beach, hitting up your favorite hot spot or a casual stroll, wearing your favorite casual graphic tee or tank top occasionally gets you a few points with the youngins. But don’t rely on that. Use it sporadically and very modestly. Frequent use of it will make you look desperate and even expose your fears of aging. Learn how to embrace the “you” that you are evolving into. Throw on a tailored suit and dress up often, even when going out on those upscale nightlife splurges. Unless the occasion calls for super-casual, embrace sophisticated fashion choices and avoid the kiddy look as much as possible. I know, sometimes it’s hard to let go of bygones, those eras of fashion that defined your youth. But like teenagers and their toys, you gotta know when to put ‘em away.
And to top things off, sprinkle on muskier, darker scents and avoid the fruity, citrusy stuff. Embracing the right scents will give you instant results and it will leave a good impression in the room.
