Why is the bottom smiling on his wedding night? Because he knows that he’s given his last blowjob. So says the old canard. But is there any truth this--the idea that upon getting married, a gay couple’s sex life will radically change? Or is that only a problem that straight and lesbian couples face? Well, it’s a bit complicated. But don’t worry, you’ll still be having sex. Perhaps the most important factor that will determine the destiny of your sex life post-marriage and into retirement is whether or not you’re planning on starting a family. Kids are a time-sink, so for the most part getting freaky with hubby is going to take a major back seat in your life. Dirty diapers do not set the mood. But let’s assume you married for other reasons and don’t intend to rear a youngin' anytime soon. In this case, nothing will fundamentally change between you two, so your sex life should remain constant. However, the key to maintaining the longevity of your spark, it’s going to involve constant updating and the adding of novelty into your sex life. I don’t care how much you love each other. If you’re having sex the exact same way for years and years, you’re going to get incredibly bored with each other. And inevitably that will lead to resentment and divorce. It’s up to you to keep an open mind about what your sex should look like, for the sake of both of your orgasms and for the sake of the relationship. For some married men, the temptation to introduce third parties in their sex can be great. The bonds of matrimony are so strong that surely they can withstand a little group fun, right? To be honest, this is a dangerous question to be asking. It’s always gonna be a roll of the dice when you start swinging. It can be a bit safer to start by experimenting with “husbanding swapping” if you and your hubby are really serious about play-infidelity, but generally steer clear of this stuff if you don’t want to risk your marriage. Marriage is a balancing act. You need to keep your sex life spicy enough that you both stay sexually and emotionally satisfied… well, forever. Keep things interesting, but don’t shatter all your vows by going too far with a stupid cuckold fetish. And most importantly, learn to appreciate the sublime type of sexual tension you can only create when guys at bars learn that they’re flirting with a married man. ;)
May 12, 2023 — Andrew Christian