Article written by Maya Vukovska

The corona pandemic has messed massively with the wedding plans of thousands of people across the world, but the wedding season can still be saved! If you have settled the date for the happy event, there’s probably someone who’s helping you through the hectic ordeal of wedding preparations. But if you’re in this alone, here are some things you should consider if you want to pull off an absolutely fabulous gay wedding.

Do the math

Literally! Do not let the idea of a dream wedding make you lose your common sense. You and your partner should agree on a budget and try sticking to it during the whole wedding planning process. By now, you should have already realized that your budget must be allocated to six major expenditure lines: reception, photo/videography, attire, music, flowers, invitations. And miscellaneous. The good news is that with some creative approach you can have a great and memorable wedding on a tight budget of $1000 - you just need to make some unorthodox choices, like exchanging something other than rings and limiting the number of the invited guests. But even if your budget is 20k or more, you still need to have a clear plan how to wisely distribute the money. And you’d better not fuck it up, or you’ll regret it

Let your fashion fantasies run wild

As many of your guests will expect, your gay wedding need not be conventional. Why don’t you give them exactly your fantasy- a wedding that is eccentric and unique, a wedding they’ll remember forever (and not only because they have captured it on hundreds of pictures!) With carte blanche to feel and look how you want, only the sky is the limit. Say you have opted for matching suits and ties. To which we can only say, “Bo-o-o-o-ring!” Why not consider matching dresses instead? Wearing female clothing the Billy-Porter-style won’t rob you of your masculinity. But of course, you can also go for other attire options: glam, goth, or... why not ditch the long pants and go for shorts and loafers in fun colors?

Some wedding vendors can be assholes!

Just because you’re surrounded by loving and supporting friends and family members, that doesn’t mean that all people will be like that throughout this process. Unfortunately, you may come across wedding vendors who will put their prejudices before their business interest, and refuse to assist you. But you shouldn’t freak out! By showing such an unfriendly attitude, they are actually doing you a huge favor. Sometimes, the reluctance of the merchants to work with gay clients comes from their lack of experience. So you’d better do your homework in advance and make a list of the vendors, florists, cake bakers, etc. that have received the most thumbs-up from LGBTQ clients.

Who’s walking whom down the isle

Although most gay couples report that their families are supportive of their marriage, there’s still a chance that you fall into the group of gay men whose parents refuse to attend their wedding ceremony. Dealing with parents who don’t exactly approve of their child’s marital choices is always an emotional trial, but you shouldn’t let the disappointment ruin the overall excitement about the event. Besides, being escorted by one’s father is old school! Now’s the time to shake things up. Who walks first and who walks with whom is completely optional. Unless you need crutches after an accident, walk by yourself - what’s the big deal! Or ask you best buddy to escort you - he’d be honored, we bet!

‘Pick a seat, not a side’

In a classic ceremony, it’s customary for the bride’s and groom’s families and friends to be seated separately. But when you have two grooms, the idea of “his” and “hers” gets a little hazy. A clever way to beat the outdated tradition is to do what many modern couples do anyway: ask your guests to just pick a seat, not a side. After all, the two lovers are becoming one, so why not let their loved ones do the same!

There are some special circumstances that will make the planning of your wedding even more dizzying to navigate than the conventional one. But fear not! Every time you start stressing out, just remember this: In its essence a wedding is about two people declaring their love for each other and to be honest, unconditional, and, fingers crossed, eternal. And nothing else really matters!

July 08, 2020 — Andrew Christian
Tags: Gay Culture