They lift. They separate. They frame the goods like a Renaissance painting. But jockstraps aren’t just functional—they’re deeply emotional.

And whether you’re a classic black jock kind of guy or the proud owner of a neon mesh open-back situation with metal hardware, your favorite style might be saying a lot more than you think.

So go ahead. Open that top drawer. We’re about to get into your jockstrap psyche.

1. The Classic Cotton Jock

Black. White. Navy. Thick waistband. No frills.

You’re stable. Hot. Probably someone’s gym crush. You fold your towels, refill the Brita without being asked, and give incredible back rubs. You appreciate the basics—not because they’re boring, but because they’re reliable. You like a firm grip (in life and in your underwear). Daddy energy is not a phase. It’s a lifestyle.

2. The Mesh Jock

Breathable. Flirty. Slightly see-through.

You’re here to cause problems—in the best way. You flirt with bartenders and their boyfriends. You think eye contact is foreplay. You can’t be trusted to behave at a pool party, and that’s exactly why everyone invites you. You own at least one crop top and refer to all your exes as “a learning experience.”

3. The Lace or Sheer Jock

Delicate. Daring. Unapologetically soft and slutty.

You’re a contradiction. A romantic exhibitionist. A soft dom. You write poetry in your Notes app and also send nudes with perfect lighting. You believe in aftercare and aren’t afraid to cry to a Robyn song. You’re a walking Tumblr mood board with a body built for chaos. We salute you.

4. The Open-Back or Peekaboo Jock

Strings. Holes. Suspicious amounts of engineering.

You’re not trying to be subtle. In fact, subtlety left your body years ago. You live for the gasp. You probably own lube in multiple sizes. You’re the first to suggest “truth or dare” at a kickback and the last to leave the afterparty. You’ve never said “no homo” in your life. Bless you.

5. The Sporty Compression-Style Jock

Tight. Performance-ready. More support than most friend groups.

You lift heavy. You flirt harder. You look hot holding a water bottle and devastating holding a plank. You probably don’t even realize how sexy you are, which somehow makes you even sexier. You’re the guy people describe with phrases like “quiet confidence” and “insanely thick thighs.”

6. The Strappy Leather Jock

Buckles. D-rings. Attitude.

You walk into a room like it owes you rent. You’ve been to Berlin. You’ve been kicked off Instagram for “violating community guidelines.” You use “versatile” as both a kink and a career goal. You’re not for everyone—and that’s exactly the point.

7. The Themed or Novelty Jock

Rainbow elastic. Harness-style straps. Maybe it glows in the dark?

You are the party. You’re campy, chaotic, and probably cried during a drag brunch once. You own glitter. You start conga lines. You say “yes” before people finish asking the question. You believe life is short and the jockstraps should be shorter. You’re the friend everyone thanks later.

Final Diagnosis? You’re Hot.

Jockstraps aren’t just underwear. They’re a mood. A signal. A second language. And whichever style you wear (or collect obsessively), you’re expressing something deliciously queer, body-positive, and unapologetically you.

So wear it with pride. Snap that waistband. Show it off a little. Or a lot.

Your jockstrap already knows who you are. The rest of the world is just catching up.

June 06, 2025 — Andrew Christian
Tags: Listicles