Late Bloomer AND a Virgin?

Article written by Maya Vukovska

You're far past the adolescent age, as defined by the most respected WHO, and you still haven't had proper sex? Nowadays, virginity is still considered unusual, and even freakish. This persistent social attitude boosts virgins’ sense of awkwardness. Movies like American Pie are an example of why Western society is laughing at virgins. It’s actually the lack of sexual experience that is made fun of, and this leads to the stereotypical belief that virgins are boring in bed. You, however, are NOT going to be an epic fail in bed because we know how to make you feel more confident about what's coming your way. Sex-wise.

You're not the only one

First of all, it's a huge and ugly societal misconception that gays start fucking like rabbits once they realize they have a penis. The truth is that there are quite a few men who don't have their first same-sex intercourse until relatively later in life. And there are various reasons for that - it can be because they haven't had the guts to come out yet, or because they lived in a place where it wasn't safe enough to try, or it's something else. The point it that you are not the only one who hasn't done it yet. Once you become aware of the fact that there're lots of other guys like you, it shouldn't feel like awkward or ashamed about your virginity anymore.

If you've tasted a sausage, you ain't vegan, honey!

Are you one of those people who tend to believe that fellatio is not sex because there's no penetration involved? But just think about it: Would they call it oral sex if it wasn't sex of some kind? If you have already blown someone, or they've blown you, you are not a virgin, which means that you ARE sexually experienced. Anal sex is not end-all, be-all of the gay universe, but if you are that eager to experience it, you'll figure it out... sooner or later.

Gay sex is not a linear progression

You know how the story goes. A high school girl with blond curls meets a quarterback with a big pack(age), they fall in love, and they find it difficult to tame the hormones raging in their beautiful bodies. She insists that they take it slowly and gradually move from first to second to third base. The whole base concept, though, does not apply to gay sex. Gay sex is like a house into which one can get through the front door, or the back door, or an open window. What we are trying to say with this complicated metaphor is that you mustn't necessarily engage in a "standard" intercourse in order to reach the ultimate goal, i.e. cumming. You can start "small", and mutual masturbation, spanking, and hand jobs are just a few examples of sexual activity that won't reveal your lack of experience.

Prep yourself emotionally!

Your eagerness to have your cherry popped is not enough an excuse to hop into bed with the first guy who buys you a drink at the bar. No matter what you've heard from the more experienced gay friends, sex is not only about draining your balls. Even if you are physically ready to have full-blown sex, you also need to be in a good emotional place for this to work. Especially if it's going to be your first time with a real person.

Don't use porn as a teaching tool!

That's probably the best advice you can get from us. Thinking that you'll gain sexual experience by watching a lot of porn is wrong. Yes, it can give you some idea of what to expect and how things, in general, are done, but that's it. Porn is edited. It's a fantasy, really, and that's what it should remain. No wonder that the more you watch it, the more frustrated it makes you feel. Male-on-male erotica is a great turn-on, but real sex between two men doesn't happen as it's shown on YouPorn. Fun fact: Professional porn actors reveal that they don't have sex like this with their real-life partners.

The first sex is like the first beer

Do you remember your very sip of beer? Yeah, it probably felt like medicine. Same with first sex. But whatever happens, do not jump to conclusions about your performance and about sex in general. Your first attempts will not be as perfect as a princess' wedding, but just like all first things, they're not meant to be.