STEP YA’ BUSSY UP: TIPS ON HOW TO GO FROM A BASIC LAY, TO A FREAK IN B

Article written by Rahmel Reid

If eating the same lunch, day-in and day-out can get boring. Leaving you craving something different to sink your teeth in — then certainly the same mundane sex can you leave or your sexual partner feeling the same way, in dire need of a new sexual appetite. Yes, as adults establishing a healthy routine can often lead to a productive lifestyle — but the same old deepthroat, then bend over and pump routine can be detrimental to your sex life. And you know once the sex goes, everything else in that adult relationship goes straight to hell. So how can you spice things up? How can you keep things interesting? Be it for your own excitement, or a friend with benefits. Or in your own committed relationship? We all need a tuneup every once in a while. So here are some tips to on how to Step Ya’ Bussy Up — don’t be basic, lets kick that freak level up a few notches.

First and foremost, just because it works all the time — doesn’t mean it’s what you or he, desires on a regular. Tuna on crackers can provide protein and nourishment for us, but do we want to eat that every night? No! Just like any appetite, your sexual appetite needs to have variety! So how can you sprinkle in that variety to keep things fun and excited when it comes to your relationship?

Spontaneity is an important factor. Yes, sex in the bed is comfortable and safe. But I’ll tell you what, going out for a drink with my man — and then thinking I’m going to take a regular piss in the restroom, only to find my him follow me in the restroom, to spontaneously suck my dick and make me nut? You don’t think that that’s going to be a night out that I’ll always remember? Adding spontaneity to a typical mundane routine is an easy way to add excitement to your sex life. Don’t be a prude, as long as you’re not sucking that dick in front of anyone, then technically it’s not rude. Mix in public play (as long as you’re not breaking any laws chyle). Give him some head while he’s playing the game console. But also tease him randomly, in the restaurant or while you’re running errands. Rub your hand across his ass or bulge, and let him know what the vibe will be when you get home.

Porn can be your best friend in situations like this. Be it a flick that you truly desire to watch, while simultaneously learning new things that you may you want to apply to the boudoir or it’s something you want to watch with your sexual partner just to add some spice to your routine. It can help the two of you to add variety, push boundaries but most importantly to simply bond sexually in a different way. Porn also just adds to the mood of the evening (or whatever time of day it is that you’re playing with dicks and booty holes). I think it allows both of you to become voyeurs while also experiencing intimacy in real life, in real time.

Edging and Sex Toys can really add another layer to your typical routine sex life. And one of the good things about this combination is that it can be applied to nearly any sexual scenario/relationship. This also works especially well for bottoms who may have had Mexican food for lunch or dinner! Now when it comes to edging, you can navigate this in many ways. Be it strictly a handjob, or you mix in oral and/or anal. The point with edging, is to build up that energy and (good) tension, until the one being edged is literally about to combust in ecstasy. I personally love a good ass to mouth combination, stopping just before their climax and then starting over again. On repeat until you ALLOW them to cum. But what’s great about this is that toys can be implemented as well. I’ve been on both ends — edging and being edged. And I have to say, my favorite thing to experience is oral stimulation and the use of a fleshlight. Mix in a good vibe with that (good R&B music, sensuality, perhaps drinks), it all adds up to a mind blowing experience. But there are plenty of toys that you can add in; anal plugs, cock rings, fleshlights, taint vibrators, nipple clamps — the list can go on. It really is up to you to now take these suggestions and explore with different types of edging and new toys. Either way, it’s something new for the two of you to explore.

Role play is a great way to not only build a new sexual chemistry, but no rekindle that light-hearted relationship you had with your partner. I mean, you’re not trained actors, so seeing each other out of the typical routine will certainly make each other laugh. But once you get pass all of that, it’s a good way at changing the sexual dynamics in your stale relationship. Are, there’s the cliche way of dressing up and assuming a character, which is perfectly fine. But when I discuss role play — I’m speaking more of sexual positions. If that straight forward sex is all that you’re used to, maybe try being a total submissive cumdump. If you’re vers, maybe tonight you’re the total dom top who wants to tie his bottom up and just use his holes. I can’t do all the homework for you guys. Try to think of innovative ways within your relationship to not only keep things interesting, but something that will both get the two of you excited sexually.

Positions should be a no brainer. But if it was oblivious, there would be no need for this post. Nonetheless, this is a great way to try to invigorate your sex life. And I’m not referring to the typical positions. I mean, if your man likes head — try sucking that dick from the back! Yes, you heard me right. That’ll for sure add some excitement. If missionary is all you guys know, encourage your man to ride that nut out. In the bed, on the couch, or even in the car. Of course, prioritizing safety is important. Maybe pull over, and while he’s pulling up to a safe spot — you’re pulling his pant zipper down and reclining his seat. The point is, new positions makes for new experiences.

The real take away is, you’ll have to want to make an intentional effort in making things work in your relationship. The desire has to be there. Yes, you still want to be with your man, but the fact of the matter is, things have gotten just a little bit stale. And that’s natural, what long-term relationship hasn’t experienced this? But if you care about sustaining this, you’ll take the aforementioned into consideration and… well bitch, you’ll step ya’ bussy up.