By Eris Chase

Ah, the threesome. The holy grail of a life filled with rich sexual escapades. It’ where you, your partner (or maybe just a hott friend), and a lucky third get tangled up in a beautiful mess of limbs, lips, lube, lust, and… well, you get where we are going. But while it sounds and looks sexy AF, a threesome can  quickly turn into a sweaty tangle of limbs where you are wondering why  someone’s stuck under the sheets like a lost sock. Lucky for you, we got you, babes.

Ready to turn your ménage à trois into a ménage à more please? Here is our  handy lil guide! Let’s go.  

Step 1: Chat—Like, Before the Cocks Come Out  

We get it, babe, you’re horny, the blood’s already rushing to your nether  region, and you’re eager to get going. But before the festivities begin, y’all  need to lay down some ground rules. Who’s allowed to blow whom? Are rim  jobs in play for everyone, or does someone not jive with that? I mean, it’s not  going to be the hottest part of the night, but trust, this convo does need to  happen. Nothing more awk than finding out all three of you are tops, or a mid thrust argument about whose balls can touch whose chin 

Step 2: The Perfect Spit Roast Starts with the Perfect Third  

Not every hottie with a fat cock or a peachy perfection ass is threesome ready.  You’re looking for someone who knows how to play nice emotionally and  physically. Ideally, they should be into both of you and want to play equally  with both of you. Think deep throating you like a porn star, while your man  takes him from behind. No one is there to watch, unless that’s your jam, this is a  three way, not a two way with extra baggage.  

Step 3: Set the Stage You Sexy Sinner 

You’ve got three grown adult sized men about to get very down and very dirty,  start by clearing a some space beforehand. Someplace where things can flo and move. Bed or floor, think blankets, a pile of pillows, dimmed lights or th fireplace lit. A few towels or wipes tucked away for any unwanted messes. Mos importantly, though, lube. Lots of lube. Condoms too, if desired. Your vibe will  die if the hole gets dry. You want the bottoms writhing in ecstasy, not  discomfort. Slick it up like you mean it.  

Step 4: Start Slow—But Get Messy Fast  

Foreplay is going to be mandatory here. And, it should be! I mean, you’ve got  three mouths, six hands, three cocks and SO MANY HOLES to play with. Start  with some teasing kisses, hands wandering over chests and thighs, and  tongues exploring every inch. When things heat up, don’t hold back. Go wild.  Rim like your life depends on it. Switch from sucking to stroking to rimming and  back again. We are a multi tasking generation, put those skills to work.  

Step 5: Don’t Drop the Balls (Literally and Figuratively)  

The golden rule of a flawless threesome? Don’t neglect anyone!! Do a li inventory of body parts now and then, and make sure everyone’s busy sucking  and fingering each other in your curated circle of bliss. No body should get lef behind or remain untouched for long. There’s no bigger trio no-no than  someone being left out of the twisted pile of limbs. Give generously and  enthusiastically, and take turns like the good team player you are. Trust, favors  will be returned when it's your turn to be spread open and driven to a shaking  mess.  

Step 6: You're Naked, Let it Get Awkward  

Someone might cramp up during doggy. An arrant foot may collide with your  nose. You might accidentally slap the wrong ass mid-thrust. Someone will  100% laugh at some point because they caught a glimpse of their reflectio and realized how gloriously filthy this whole scene is. It's fine. Laugh it off  be in it. It’s sex, AND, it’s threesome sex at that. You’re there to have fun, not be  an aloof perfectionist. 

Step 7: Cuddles, Water, and Maybe Round Two  

When the last load has been blown and you're all lying there in post orgasmic  puddles with zero post nut regrets, don’t just roll over and scroll what’s next.  Hydrate. Offer a towel. Maybe even snuggle and a nap if you're into that. And  seriously, if your refractory period is short enough, who says you can't go  another round? This is your threesome, babes, end on a high note or drop that  second verse.  

There you go. Our sweet and tidy guide to the flawless threesome. Now, ge out there, Pick your partners, be safe, play extra dirty, and most importantly,  make sure everyone leaves with a smile and a little wobble in their walk.