Yes, it’s real. And no, I haven’t been kidnapped by a cult.

Let’s set the scene: You’re on a date. He’s cute, funny, his skincare routine costs more than your rent, and he’s wearing AC undies (you can tell by the massive bulge). Everything’s going great, you’re vibing, flirting, maybe brushing knees under the table. Then, mid-martini, he drops the bomb: “Just so you know, I’m not really into sex.”

GASP. CLUTCH PEARLS. SPIT OUT ESPRESSO MARTINI.

Now calm down, you thirsty minx. Before you dramatically slide out of the booth and text your backup plan, take a deep breath. Because true love without fucking is not just possible—it might be exactly what your chaotic little gay heart needs.

Let’s break it down.

You Can Still Be Horny—Just… Not With Each Other

So you don’t do the horizontal salsa together. Big whoop! Some couples don’t mesh sexually but still build lives filled with love, laughter, matching robes, and a robust mutual hatred of couples who say “we finish each other’s sandwiches.” And hey, there’s always porn, toys, or the occasional guest star if that’s your vibe.

The Intimacy is Still Intimate

Spooning without sliding? Holding hands without groping? Gazing longingly into each other’s eyes without checking to see if there’s an OnlyFans link in the bio? Wild. But magical. Emotional intimacy hits different when you know they’re here for you and not just your cake.

Love Isn’t Just in the Bedroom

Love lives in the everyday: your Sunday morning bagel routine, your inside jokes, the way he knows exactly how you take your coffee and what filter makes your butt look best on Instagram. If he remembers your favorite Beyoncé lyric and the name of your childhood dog? Baby, that’s soulmate energy.

No Sex = No Sexual Pressure

No pressure to be in the mood, to douche for three hours, or to pretend you love rimming even when you’re secretly thinking about leftover pad Thai. You’re allowed to just be. Imagine that—love without performance anxiety!

You’re Not Broken. You’re Just Built Different

Whether you’re asexual, demisexual, or just sexually retired (at the age of 26), you’re not missing out. You’re just defining love on your own terms, and that’s the gayest power move of all. Anyone who says otherwise can kindly exit stage left (preferably wearing last season’s underwear).

Sexual Chemistry Can Change Over Time

Maybe you’re not into it now. Maybe you never will be. Maybe one day you’ll wake up, look at him, and think “huh, I’d sit on that.” Or not. Either way, your connection isn’t less valid just because you aren’t doing butt stuff. (Although butt stuff is fun. Just saying.)

At the end of the day, love is about connection—not positions, kinks, or body counts (though we love a good spreadsheet). Whether you’re getting down and dirty five times a day or just cuddling through “RuPaul’s Drag Race,” what matters is that your heart’s in it—even if your D isn’t.

So yes, true love without sex is real. And if you don’t believe me, ask the gays who’ve been together since the Bush administration and still giggle at each other’s farts.

Stay soft. Stay sexy. And remember: there’s more than one way to be a full-time lover.