Well, well, well! It seems we’ve gotten our paws on an exclusive peek at the celebratory dinner planned for Donald Trump, should he win the election! Thanks to some creative espionage—let’s just say our sources are as reliable as a dog with a bone—we’re thrilled to present a menu that truly captures the spirit of the occasion. Forget fancy caviar and filet mignon; in true Trump fashion, we’re serving up dishes that are as outrageous as his social feed and just as memorable!

Welcome to The Mar-a-Lago Club, where the cuisine is as extravagant as the decor and the ethics are just as questionable! Our culinary team has crafted a unique selection of dishes that will make you do a double-take—and perhaps a double-gulp!

Starters

Feline Fritters
Crispy catnip-infused bites served with a side of “purr-ple” dipping sauce. A true treat for those with a taste for the exotic!

Canine Queso
Creamy cheese dip with a hint of kibble, served with tortilla chips shaped like dog bones. Perfect for those late-night snack attacks—or just to impress your friends!

Main Courses

Paw-tato Skins à la Pup
Loaded potato skins topped with pulled “pup” and cheese. Because who doesn’t want to indulge in a dish that’s both delicious and scandalous?

Bark-B-Q Ribs
Tender ribs marinated in a secret sauce that’s paw-sitively irresistible. Served with a side of “fur-ocious” coleslaw. Just don’t ask what the sauce is made from!

Kitty Curry
A fragrant curry featuring a blend of spices and a “feline flair.” Served over a bed of rice that’s as white as the lies we tell.

Desserts

Paw Print Pie
A decadent dessert made with “paw-some” chocolate and topped with whipped cream that looks suspiciously like cat fur.

Doggie Donuts
Glazed donuts shaped like dog bowls, because nothing says “luxury” like a dessert inspired by your four-legged friends!

Beverages

Meow Margarita
A refreshing margarita with a twist—infused with catnip for that extra kick. Perfect for sipping while discussing your favorite conspiracy theories!

Canine Cabernet
A bold red wine, aged to perfection in barrels that once held your pup’s favorite chew toys. Pairs well with any of our questionable dishes!

Specials

The “You Won’t Believe It’s Not Fido” Platter
A chef’s selection of all our most outrageous dishes, served with a side of disbelief and a sprinkle of scandal.

“Paw-sitively” Political Platter
A collection of our most controversial items, served with a side of social media outrage. Perfect for those who love to stir the pot!

Disclaimer: All dishes are purely fictional and meant for satirical purposes. No animals were harmed in the making of this menu—except perhaps some egos! Enjoy your dining experience at The Mar-a-Lago Club, where the food is questionable, but the ambiance is definitely on-brand!

September 23, 2024 — Andrew Christian
Tags: AC Hot Takes