What To Do If Your Partner is Bad at Sex

Have you ever found yourself in a relationship with a guy who’s funny, smart, attractive, outgoing, an upstanding citizen, but… is just terrible at sex? This can be a quite lethal conundrum, unfortunately. As sexual creatures (most of us, anyway), intercourse is inevitably a huge part of maintaining a long-term relationship. If he sucks at sucking dick, can’t last more than a couple minutes, doesn’t like anal, or has incompatible kinks to yours--it ultimately may not matter how good of friends you two are. So does that mean your relationship is doomed? Not necessarily. Although sex is a big part of most relationships, there are few reasons why bad sex won’t always sink the ship. First of all, bad sex may not always be bad. If he’s just inexperienced, then teach him how things work. You may find that as his horizons broaden, so might his anal sphincter. ;) But say he’s hard-set in his un-kinky ways. You can’t teach an old dog new tricks--so then what? If you’re determined to make the relationship last, you’ll have to find a sexual compromise. Be honest about what you feel you’re lacking sexually and negotiate a way you can both feel satisfied. Maybe that means BDSM on Tuesdays and a cold, dispassionate handjob on Thursdays. Talk it out and see what comes of it. But if you’ve tried everything and the rocks are just not getting off, you should ask yourself the following question: Am I willing to forgo conventional sexual gratification from my partner for all the other amazing things he brings to the table? Your bond may very well be worth bad sex. Or the bad sex may be a toxic force that withers away at your connection. If all else fails, you two of may need to explore ways you can individually find sexual gratification on your own, for the sake of keeping the relationship alive. Discuss swinging, open relationships, mutual masturbation, or the use of porn to spice things up. But at the end of the day, love is more than just amazing orgasms. And although amazing orgasms ARE amazing, only you can decide if they’re worth breaking up with him.