Where Are The Guys Who Want More Than Just Sex?

Alright, boys, let’s talk. Picture it: you’re lying in bed, scrolling through every gay app you can think of, ready to strike up a conversation. You’re giving “I’m ready to commit, babe” vibes. Maybe you even dusted off your profile to mention that you’re looking for a relationship, not just a quick romp. But what do you find? “Hey, what’s up?” translates almost immediately to “What are you into?” which we all know is code for… well, you know. Sex.

Where. Are. The. Guys. Who. Want. More. Than. Just. Sex? Hello? Is this thing on? 🎤

It feels like we’re out here thirsting for something that just isn’t in stock. It’s like walking into a grocery store, looking for something organic and wholesome, only to find rows upon rows of junk food. Sure, it’s tasty and we’ll enjoy it for a moment, but where’s the nutritional value, y’all? 🍎🥦

So, let’s dive into this little mystery. Where are the guys who want something real? Are they out there, or are we all just stuck in some endless loop of one-night stands and ghosting?

Are They at the Gym? (Spoiler: No, Probably Not)

Alright, let’s start with an obvious spot: the gym. You might think the guys who care about commitment are also the guys who care about their health and well-being, right? So, you put on your cutest workout gear and head over there with a “boyfriend material” smile on your face. But, spoiler alert: the only commitment these dudes seem to have is to their biceps. 💪

Maybe you catch a guy eyeing you from across the gym floor, and you think, “Could it be…?” But nah, sis, he just wants you as his next lifting partner (if you’re lucky) or, more likely, he’s just checking out the competition. Apparently, the gym is for fitness gains, not relationship gains. Moving on…

Coffee Shops? Sweetheart, Dream On.

So, let’s get a little more cultured. We’re talking indie coffee shops with exposed brick walls and plants hanging from the ceiling, where everyone’s sipping on oat lattes and pretending they’re reading Proust. You might think, This is it! This is where the good guys are hiding!

But oh no, honey. If he’s here, he’s either laser-focused on his laptop, deep in some tragic screenplay he’s been working on for years, or he’s one of those artsy types who’ll wax poetic about “connection” and “energy” but can’t even commit to a coffee order, let alone a relationship. Sorry, babe, but you’re gonna have to caffeinate and carry on.

On the Apps? LOL, Try Again.

The apps. The land of promises unfulfilled. You log in, bracing yourself, hoping that today might be the day you find someone who actually wants to know your last name before asking what position you are.

But no, honey. All you get are “looking?”, “now?”, or the all-too-common “can you host?” like they’re trying to book a freakin' Airbnb for their body. 😩 Is it too much to ask for a guy who’ll date you before he tries to get in your pants? The guys who want relationships on the apps are as rare as a unicorn in an Andrew Christian jockstrap—if he’s out there, he’s hiding better than Waldo.

Gay Bars? Let’s Be Real…

Oh, honey. Gay bars. We love them, we live for them, and yes, we’ve had some of the best nights of our lives there. But let’s be honest: it’s not exactly where romance blossoms. Unless your idea of romance is a guy slurring “You’re cute!” at 2 a.m. after he’s had three too many vodka sodas. 💃

If you’re lucky, you might meet a guy who gives you his real number and not just a fake Insta handle. But for the most part, everyone’s on a vibe check, and that vibe is “Are we hooking up, or… are we hooking up?” You can try to dance your way into his heart, but let’s be real—most guys at the bar are here to have fun, not find their soulmate. Bless their hearts, though.

Are They Just… at Home? Do They Even Exist?

At this point, it feels like the only guys who want a real relationship might be chilling at home, under a blanket, binge-watching some feel-good rom-coms and daydreaming about meeting you, too. But here’s the problem: they’re staying IN. So unless you’re planning to break into their living rooms like a romance-novel burglar (not advised), how exactly are you supposed to find these mythical creatures?

So where are these elusive, relationship-seeking guys? Are they just sitting on their couches, refusing to go outside because they’re tired of the whole scene? Because, honestly… same.

The Solution? Maybe We Just Gotta Be Patient (I Know, I Hate That Too)

Look, here’s the tea: love doesn’t usually come when you’re desperately hunting it down with a magnifying glass. Maybe it’s not about changing where you’re looking but changing how you’re looking. Next time you go out, take a deep breath, enjoy the moment, and focus on being your fabulous self. Trust me, there’s someone out there who’s looking for that exact vibe.

Maybe you’ll meet him on a random Tuesday at the grocery store, both reaching for the last box of oat milk. Maybe he’ll be the new guy at your yoga class, and you’ll bond over the struggle of downward dog. Maybe he’s even on one of the apps… but the trick is to stay open, not frustrated.

Final Thought: Sometimes, It’s About More Than Just “Where”

Real talk: finding someone who wants more than just sex isn’t about the exact place you’re looking. It’s about recognizing that there are guys out there who want what you want—and that it’s okay if it takes a little time to find them. In the meantime, enjoy your own company, have a little fun, and remember that when the right guy does come along, it’ll be worth the wait. 💖

And if all else fails, just keep rocking those Andrew Christian undies. Because one thing’s for sure: whether it’s a fling, a date, or a real relationship, you’ll look damn good when he finally comes into your life. 😘