Can Two Tops or Bottoms Have the Perfect Relationship Together?

Article by Ben Haynes

It’s almost reminiscent of that Alanis Morrisette song…you meet the man of your dreams and then his devilishly handsome husband. Now, raise your hand if this has ever happened to you. Same, girl. Same. The interesting twist that the gay community presents is that sometimes when you meet this mouth-watering couple, you discover that they are both tops or bottoms. They’ve effectively taken two of the same positions off the market simultaneously! Now, your curiosity is piqued. How do they make dynamics work when they both want the same thing sexually, yet neither is willing to provide it for the other? Can two of the same bedroom positions really have the perfect relationship?

Two Bottoms

It tends to feel that there are twenty you don’t see for every bottom you do. No, bottoms aren’t pests; they’re just in high supply! As gay men, we love the idea of a sexy man dominating us and giving us everything we want. That being said, how can two bottoms have the perfect relationship? I’ve met many bottoms who would instead go to a heavy metal concert every night of the week before they even considered topping. It all comes down to honesty and very open communication. Every relationship is different, but the one thing that holds true is that communication is vital. Healthy communication establishes clear and concise boundaries that each member of the partnership can agree upon. I’ve met several bottom couples who regularly share their bed with a top they meet together and those who find ones to play with on their own. Several bottom couples also share intimate experiences together in other ways: shared toys, various forms of foreplay, and so on. Ultimately, with consistent, open communication, firm trust, and mutual respect, two bottoms can have a healthy and happy relationship.

Two Tops

Similar to bottoms, tops are very set in their position. Though plenty of tops love it when someone plays with their hole, dare you to stick anything in it, and they’ll go running for the hills. That being said, how can two tops meet each others’ sexual needs and desires when they date each other? Foreplay is always a go, and there are plenty of toys they use to satisfy the cravings of one another. Additionally, many of these couples meet bottoms together or separately. They have agreements and understandings of how their sexual needs get met, and they communicate openly about them. See the pattern yet? As is the case with any relationship, these couples must constantly talk with each other about what’s okay, what’s not, and where the gray areas lie. What works for one pair of these natures definitely won’t for another. Nobody can judge a couple for what they do, given that we all want and need different things. Bottom line: these couples can have the healthiest, happiest relationship imaginable. It’s all in the communication and the trust they build together.