Article by Maya Vukovska
Winter is for cuddling and summer is for sex, or so says statistics. A quite recent survey among users of a popular dating app shows that in the summer months, 33% more people look for a hookup, as compared to the rest of the year. Psychologists have posited some theories about why that is. People travel more in summer, mainly for fun, and less for business. So, when you are in a place for a short period of time, where nobody knows you (unless, of course, you’re a celebrity with millions of followers on Instagram), you are more likely to look for a short-lived romance. Ideally, with no strings attached, which includes not even exchanging phone numbers and sharing social media profiles. With the summer being over, people come to their senses, revert to their old selves, and start looking for more permanent relationships.
During the carefree summer days, gay men are especially eager to go outdoors and brave clubs, pools, and sex parties. And when you are surrounded by hot bodies in crop tops and super-tight shorts, a one-night stand is literally a blink away.
I am here today to prep you for your summer vacation (sex-wise!) so that you won’t regret it when it is over.
Go for someone you wouldn’t typically date
No matter whether you are in Provincetown, Mykonos, or Ibiza, that’s your opportunity to pretend you are someone else, say, your mischievous, promiscuous twin brother you’ve never had. Do the things he’d do, but you wouldn’t. Take the risk to plunge into a summer romance with someone who’s nothing like your type, someone you would have never even considered dating. For example, if you’re into Kens, go flirt with a Jack Sparrow or some other boorish character instead. And who knows, stepping out of your comfort zone may lead to unexpected delights.
Make your intentions clear
Stating your level of commitment may sound like a classic buzzkill, but it’s important that you put your cards on the table before you grab each other’s asses. Summer romances typically are what they are, i.e. just hookups, but you never know how things will turn out. Some people go into every sexual encounter expecting a relationship out of it, and this can be a problem. To avoid misunderstanding and bitterness, don’t hesitate to tell your boy for the summer that you’re not looking for anything long-term. But in case you at some point become interested in keeping in touch after the vacation’s over, be fair, and share that thought, too.
Following that thread, let’s talk about clinginess.
Don’t become emotionally dependent
I understand that it’s easier said than done because they don’t call them feelings for nothing. But if you treat your summer boy with all the seriousness of an imminent marriage, trust me, he may run away as fast as Usain Bolt, leaving you empty-handed. Remind yourself that in a month or so, he will have moved on with his life, and it will be an awfully embarrassing situation if one day he finds you standing outside his house, in the pouring rain, like some melodramatic character in a B-rated romcom.
Keep your head on straight
Summer holidays are a break from everyday life, and you should therefore make the most of it. For eleven months, you’ve been running up the corporate ladder, and stuffing down hot dogs bought from the stand at the corner. And now it’s the time to indulge yourself with dining at nice restaurants and having a lot of NSA sex. And you’ll get it right if you see your romance as a tool for mental and physical recovery from the stressful city life. But if you’re using your summer vacation as an excuse for totally forgetting about your normal life, I smell trouble. You may think it’s one of those “What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas” types of experiences, but remember that sometimes the consequences of our deeds catch up with us, causing damages to our ordinary lives that are beyond repair.
So, open your ears, and hear these last words of the wise person that I am!
If you’d love a hookup this summer but already have a boyfriend, you have only two reasonable options:
Make this known to him.
or... don’t do that at all!
