Getting Paid for Sex? Think Before You Fuck for a Buck

Article written by Maya Vukovska

We live in an economic environment where the free market rules apply. It’s not necessary that you’ve attended an ECO101 course to know that the free market is a system based on demand and supply with little or no governmental control. In other words, in the free market economy, all types of voluntary exchanges of goods and services are allowed - whether it’s apples for fish, or … sex for money.

Not one and two countries around the world have already legalized prostitution: New Zealand, Australia, Belgium, Canada, Germany, Greece, Indonesia, just to name a few. In the rest of the world, it’s still against the official law to offer sexual services in exchange for cash. But even so, the authorities cannot monitor the citizens 24/7 to make sure they don’t do it in the privacy of their homes. And besides, people don't go to prison just because they find some cash on the nightstand after having spent a passionate night with another person!

When life takes an unexpected turn, any young gay male can find himself in a situation where he, likes it or not, ends up having sex for money. Let’s visualize him. He is a 20-something-year old guy with modest financial income and few or no marketable professional skills. His name is Lucas, he is good-looking, with nice hair and a lean body. Lucas is struggling to make ends meet; he’s tried different jobs and in his attempt to have a lifestyle he can’t actually afford, he’s made some really bad choices. One day, he gets offered a couple of grand by someone three times his age to have sex with him. The temptation is overwhelming; Lucas feels like Adam being offered a juicy apple by the Serpent, only not in the Gardens of Even, but in an insanely expensive city on the East Cost. Although the “Serpent” seems kind and respectful and Lucas has no moral objection to prostitution, he now finds himself in a dilemma. On the one hand, he's like, well, it’s just sex, it’s not rocket science, it’s going to be a one-time thing, and I can really use the money. But on the other hand, he feels kind of sad thinking that the only way he can make some money is by selling his ass. Literally!
Should he agree on the proposal, or walk away?

There are a few rationales that have to be taken into consideration before one says, “Yes” or "No" to such an offer.

It’s just a job

Bonafide sex workers, who identify themselves also as “cashsexuals”, report that, contrary to what most people think about their job, i.e. that it’s humiliating and messy, and morally wrong, it's just a job as any other. If one drops the moralizing and the shaming part, what remains is the fact that it’s a valuable service provided free willingly to a specific customer group. Yes, humiliation and mess, in the form of certain fetish-related practices, can be part of the picture but only if this is what arouses the customer. But otherwise, there’s nothing inherently degrading and shameful about the job. If you still think that by selling sex services you'll be in violation of some fundamental archaic law, then you’d better talk to your God, say “No,” to the offer, and find another way to earn a buck, which doesn’t involve anybody’s genitalia.

Privacy of information

If you decide to go ahead at full throttle on the paid-sex thing, but you don’t want EVERYBODY to know about your professional or semi-professional sex activities, then you should be extra careful about whom you share your work experience with. If you choose to keep it a secret from family and friends, you must be prepared that at some point, it will feel quite lonely, isolating, and even neurotic. If you, however, confide in a couple of people, or even one trusted person, you’ll be relieved from the burden of living an unauthentic life. Given that our society still stigmatizes those who benefit financially from prostituting themselves, the confidentiality issue is probably the biggest problem you’ll have to address in a due manner.

Negotiate the conditions in advance

As we said, selling one’s sex services is just another trade deal, and that’s why it should be seriously regarded as such. Being asked for your sexual favors in exchange for money puts you, more or less, in the power position to negotiate your conditions. Don’t forget to do it in advance! Even if it’s your first time, don’t be shy and put your cards on the table. Let your customer or sponsor know what your expectations and limits are. And then, let the money does the rest of the talking.

Post-fuck regrets

There will be some. Especially after doing your first paid-sex session. But hey, don’t we all have regrets after a relationship gone south or a one-night stand with someone we’ve picked from the bar!