Struggling With Your Dating Profile? 4 Tips To Nail It

Article written by Maya Vukovska

So many dating apps and not one love! You know for a fact that you are a handsome guy, and yet, few men come knocking on your virtual door. Have you been wondering why that is? The thing is, my friend, that you can’t expect to attract hungry fish only by exposing your dangling bait. Uploading a few profile photos and stating your sexual preferences using gay slang vocabulary is not enough to make your profile effective. Here is our suggestion how in four easy steps to turn your dating profile into an enticing trip into your personality and life, so that more guys would want to get to know you.

Let them see your face

The other day, I overheard a guy in a bar talking about his Tinder experience. He was saying that if a first photo is too far away, he just swipes left. “If I can’t see the face, I instantly lose interest. I don’t really care to check the rest of their photos, although they might be great.”

Yes, it’s all about that first photo impression. It must be a spontaneous, candid headshot, - not a staged one, not (too) photoshopped, and definitely not one that gives passport vibes. It should be a close-up that would draw them into exploring the whole gallery.

The ultimate number of photos to upload is five. How to choose them? They have to represent five areas of your life. After the nice first headshot, move to what you do professionally, then a selfie with family members or friends, then a hobby of yours, and finally, just pick a fun photo you really like.

It’s OK to show some skin

But not in a shallow way. A cool picture in a T-shirt showing your arms, or some beach photo from your last vacation proving that you’ve been no stranger to the gym will give the guys out there an idea of what your body type is.

Don’t ignore the “About Me” section

Unless you’re looking only for sex, then you probably shouldn’t waste the other guys' time, and yours too, talking about pets, sunsets, and hobbies, because the one-night-standers will be interested only in your bed preferences and skills. But if you’re seeking a true soulmate and a long-term relationship, the bio section is your chance to stand out and shine bright. If you’re not sure how to describe yourself, ask a trusted friend, one who won't spare you the truth, to do it for you. But avoid third-person statements like, “My friends say I am this and that”. A great bio shouldn’t resemble a job resume, but reveal insights - your passions, priorities, guilty pleasures, and even embarrassing habits, like googling yourself, being hooked on Skyrim, or flipping the pillow to the cold side before going to sleep. Clichés, like “avid traveler”, “foodie”, “gym rat”, etc. are boring. However, self-deprecating humor is always a winning choice.

Avoid derogatory language

Alas, most gay dating apps still allow racist and shaming language on their users’ profiles. I’ve come upon recent research exploring how gay men perceive profiles that use such language. And the results were astounding! For example, femmephobic guys with “Mascs only”-type profiles are seen as less intelligent, less dateable, and less sexually confident. It’s totally OK to fill out your preferred sexual role, your HIV status (if applicable), and mention that you’re DDF, but stating that you’re “not into Asians, and limp-wristed twinks” is but a display of boorish attitude. You’d better say what you are into, and not what you aren't into. Seriously, no one wants to date a jerk!

To sum up, the most common red flags that signal lazy, low effort profiles are no close-ups of the face, overuse of clichés, short or non-existing bios, and discriminatory language. So, all you have to do to create an effective dating profile is invest some time, effort, and thought into it, and you’ll be surprised at how much you’ll get back in return. I mean, if you do it right, at some point you’ll have to fight the boys off with a stick!