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Think back to all the best orgasms in your life. You know, the ones that caused full body fevers. Euphoria so intense that it's almost too much to handle. Your whole body quivers and tingles in ecstasy. In that moment of blasting thick ropes of cum, presumably inside some guy's mouth or ass, the world just seems to makes sense. And now think about the circumstances of that orgasm. Why exactly was it good? Was he just that hot? Or he knew exactly how to use his tongue? Or was it something else... Was it... intimacy?!

Before we move forward, I will give a quick disclaimer that ultimately this comes down to personal preference. For some guys, there's nothing hotter than secretive, anonymous midnight trysts. Sex with a perfect stranger to never been seen again is definitely kinky in its own way. And again, this should be interpreted not necessarily as a knock on hookup culture, but my contention is that the best orgasms happen sometime after the third date.

There's something about that feeling of being deeply intertwined with someone, both in flesh and in mind, that elevates the sex to a higher level. Penis length is finite, but when you engage the heart and mind, you can go infinitely deep with your partner. You can totally join together as one in that moment, and there's nothing hotter than that.

Intimacy requires letting down barriers. It requires getting to know each other for who you really are. When you're having sex with a total stranger, you're only showing each other parts of your selves. Sure, being naked and aroused next to someone makes it hard to keep secrets. But revealing your dreams, your fears, and your kinks--that's an entirely different level of being vulnerable.

Of course, some guys are able to achieve these high levels of intimacy during brief random hookups. And for them, that's great! But for most people, it takes time to get there. But the sex is ultimately worth it. Anonymous or not, everyone agrees that a lay with gusto is better than a disinterested handjob...

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