Article by Brittany Hancock Love is blind, but you don't have to be. No one wants to believe their partner is unfaithful, but in this harsh reality, cheating is becoming more common. Dating apps, instant messengers, and texting make it all too easy to find someone new. If you believe you may be a victim of infidelity, you’ll want to be sure before confronting your significant other. Look for these signs to determine if your lover is cheating.

Concerned with Appearance

It's natural for someone to want to look good. However, if you notice sudden onset gym visits, changes in wardrobe, and an all-around need to look's likely your partner is looking to impress someone else. Maybe your significant other never cared much about their eating habits. Cheeseburgers, pizza, and beer were on their daily menu. Now suddenly they want to lose weight. This could be a determination to look better naked. It could also mean they want to live a healthier lifestyle. Try not to jump to conclusions right away and gently ask your partner what the catalyst was for this new change in appearances. Instead, look for additional clues. If they are changing their hairstyle, wearing better clothes, and doing what you consider “extra” there should be the concern for suspicion. It is also important to remember your partner’s personality. We all have down moments when we don’t feel our best and this could be an indication that they are coming out of it. Ultimately, you know your lover’s behavior and can establish when something is off.

2. Protective of Phone

Society today tends to be obsessed with technology. So, always being on his phone may not be an instant sign of infidelity. It's when he gets possessive of his phone that you need to worry. Try asking to borrow their phone for a moment. If they get overly defensive or need a moment to “adjust” something, you should be suspicious. This could mean that they are hiding messages from someone they don’t want you to know about. Another good indication is how often they are in possession of their phone. If it never leaves his side, he may not want you to get ahold of it. Pay attention to the placement as well. A phone that is never turned right side up or on silent may be concealing messages.

3. Frequent Showers

If the first thing he does upon returning home is hopping in the shower, there's a good chance he's washing away the scent of his new lover. Pay attention to how often he showers after returning home. Naturally, he could just be sweaty from the gym or work. But who showers after going to the “store”? A good way to detect someone trying to conceal a new scent is through clothes. Pay attention to any unfamiliar colognes while doing laundry.

4. Overly Defensive

Does he go out frequently, for long periods, without any mention of his whereabouts? Maybe he's working for the C.I.A or maybe he's having a love affair. Try asking about his late-night trips and see how defensive he is. Don’t make accusations but be inquisitive. A simple, “what did you do last night?”. If his response is to shoot you down for asking and instantly remark on trust issues, that’s not a good sign. After all, why would you need to hide where you’ve been unless you shouldn’t have been there? Stuttering, stammering, or nervousness are also equally troubling. Pay attention to body language; eye darting, shifting, or any obvious discomfort. These are definite signs that your partner is hiding something or lying.

5. New Interests or Hobbies

Let’s say your partner always hated golf, but now he is going out every Sunday to play. This kind of behavior might indicate something is amiss. This could mean that he is lying and going somewhere else. It could also indicate he is interested in it for the sake of someone else. Ask if he has met any new friends and see if you are met with resistance. This isn’t an outright sign of cheating; his interests could just change. However, his response to someone new is important.

Trust and Communication

If you want a relationship to work, it’s important that you place trust in each other. Sometimes what appears to be cheating, can be explained. Therefore, it’s crucial that you communicate with your significant other and not accuse them. Talk with them, ask about their behavior, make inquiries but don’t go into those questions with an attempt to draw something out. This type of behavior will only make you look insecure and hurt your partner. Also, always respect their privacy. Don’t go through their phone or emails hoping to find something. This type of behavior is invasive and again proves you don’t trust them. Communication will lead you to everything you need to know.
October 16, 2018 — Andrew Christian