7. Message him on the app of choice

via GIPHY In today’s society, technology has expedited everything, including the speed at which you can reach out to potential significant others. This is the quickest and easiest way to get someone’s attention. You also have the advantage of being able to send out messages to many people at once and wait for responses. It’s also proven that receiving messages from other people gives you dopamine, which makes you happy. Everyone likes being happy! So go out there and spread some love to the world. READ MORE: IS PORN TO BLAME FOR OUR BAREBACK OBSESSION? Pro tip: This works best with a filled out profile that gives insights into the wonderful being that you are. Top that off with a picture of your best features. Whether that’s your buns, your guns, or your genuine smile, this is the moment to showcase and embrace your beauty.

6. Be around the guy that everyone wants

via GIPHY The rest of the list will unfortunately involve in-person interaction because the return on investment per person on the apps of choice is not as high. We all know that guy. Yes. The guy that can command an army of gays with the snap of his hands. The guy who doesn’t need milkshakes to bring boys to his yard. Aspire to be like him, but more easily, aspire to be around him. If you surround yourself with beauty, you will appear more desirable yourself. Just test it out and see!

5. Make a witty joke

via GIPHY Making a witty joke about anything will instantly showcase your intelligence because it’s a known fact that people who are perceived as more humorous tend to be more intelligent. Naturally, you would want to impress him with your charming humor and follow your joke with a proud smile. If you don’t think that you can come up with witty jokes on the spot, have a few prepared ahead of time to use that is appropriate to the setting. You know the places that you spend the most time, so prepare your jokes accordingly so it seems natural.

4. Give him a compliment

via GIPHY Everyone loves compliments. When was the last time you saw someone complain that someone gave them too many compliments? However, there are guidelines into what types of compliments you should give. If you think his biceps are absolutely gorgeous, do not simply say that! Instead, compliment him on his determination to hit the gym so regularly. After all, they do want their efforts at the gym to be noted. Always emphasize the effort that he puts into his looks. Ideally, it will lead to him talking about his life, to which you can just nod along whether you find it interesting or not. Smile, because you now have his attention.

3. Show off your treasure

via GIPHY Everyone has flaws, but everyone also has beauty. Similar to how you identified the part of you to accentuate on your app of choice, you also should highlight that about yourself in real life. Whether that means drop, bend, and snap, or twirling your hair, you should bring all the goodies that you’ve got. If you’re wearing some cute underwear, sag your pants a little and raise your hand up to reach for the wine in the cabinet.

2. Offer him a drink

via GIPHY Life is hard nowadays. After a long day, no one will say no to a free drink. Who doesn’t like free stuff that doesn’t come with stipulations? If you want to get a guy’s attention, buy him a drink and follow it up with a compliment or a witty joke. In the race to get his attention, the earlier tactics can be used cumulatively. However, buying him a drink instantly grants you a minute or so of his time. In this time, mix all the tactics above and have a good time!

1. Go up to him and be authentically you

via GIPHY I know, I know. Cliché. However, at the end of the day, what will really get his attention is who you are. No matter how good you are at telling jokes or giving compliments, there’s likely someone who is better than you at it. I mean look at Will Ferrell. He could blink humorously without problems. However, only you are the best at being you. All of your weirdness and pet peeves. The perfect combination of every aspect of you makes you unique. And if he’s not into that? Well, he’s not worth it anyway.
July 09, 2018 — Andrew Christian