Hey, Agatha!

I'm feeling a bit lost and overwhelmed by a deep longing for intimacy and connection in my dead end Midwestern small town. I'm approaching my 21st birthday, and I've never experienced a romantic or sexual relationship with another man. Never had sex, never kissed, never held hands with another man. It's a source of deep shame and embarrassment for me. Despite taking care of myself and being considered attractive by most, I feel like I'm invisible to potential partners. I'm stuck in this town where opportunities seem scarce, and the dating apps aren't yielding the meaningful connections I crave. I don't just want a quick fuck. I'm yearning for a real relationship, but it feels like an impossible dream. What should I do?




Dearest Alan,

Embrace the journey and seize every opportunity to expand your horizons and connect with others. It's crucial to recognize the power of community in finding intimacy and connection. While small towns may feel limiting, they often hide pockets of vibrant community and opportunities for connection.

Consider exploring local events, joining social groups, and engaging in activities that align with your interests and passions. Building friendships can not only ease the ache of loneliness but also introduce you to potential partners who share your values and desires.

Now, let's talk about visibility and self-expression. Embracing your sexuality and incorporating it into your daily life, whether through humor, openness, or simply being true to yourself, can attract like-minded individuals and signal to potential partners that you're a safe space for connection and intimacy.

Remember, darling, that the path to finding intimacy and love is as unique as you are. While the journey may have its challenges and setbacks, each experience, whether romantic or platonic, brings you one step closer to discovering your true self and connecting with others on a deeper level.

So, my love, follow your path with courage and curiosity, and trust that the universe has a way of guiding us towards the connections and experiences we crave. Love is a journey of exploration, and each step you take brings you closer to the fulfillment and joy you seek.


Agatha 💋

February 23, 2024 — Andrew Christian
Tags: Ask Agatha