Challenges of Being a Gay Father
Article written by Maya Vukovska
As they say, children don’t come into this world with an instruction manual. And yes, becoming a parent can be as scary as facing an alligator in a pond somewhere in Louisiana. Raising kids is not an easy (or inexpensive!) business. Regardless of age, religion, race, and gender identity, and no matter whether one is a Michael Bolton or a Metallica fan, a meat-eater or a vegan, a Republican or Democrat, we all ask ourselves the same question, “Will I do well as a parent?” But when gay couples are to become parents, the question is loaded with some extra cargo. Sure, the masses has become much more tolerant of gay marriage in recent years, and yet, gay fathers still confront social stigma. In case you are considering becoming a gay father (or you already are!), here are some things you need to keep in mind.
“Daddy, where did I come from?”
Sooner or later, this question will pop up. And the obvious answer in most cases won’t be “Mom and Dad loved each other so much that they decided to have a baby by bringing their penis and vagina together.” Your kid may have come into your life under various circumstances. Through an open adoption or by having your sperm impregnated a surrogate mom. for example. Or getting pregnant your own ex wife/girlfriend back in that funny period when you were still fooling yourself you might be bi. Whatever the case is, however, you should be well prepared and remain calm when the question comes. Regardless of how you became a family, it’s important that you talk honestly to John Jr. And don’t forget to mention with love and respect the woman who brought him to this world. No matter whether you personally knew the chick, or not.
Other moms and dads will be hitting on you
It’s insane how much the moms, especially the ones with the Will-and-Grace syndrome, love flirting with gay dads! And if this is not much of a news for you, let us warn you about another phenomenon you may be exposed to in the early stages of your parenthood. There will be straight dads, in the parks and playgrounds, in the supermarkets and at Bob Evans, who will, too, flirt their asses off with you. There’s a rule, though: Never sleep with the husbands of the horny moms, and don’t dare make advances to the dads unless you want to witness a messy divorce.
Who’s “the mom”?
If you live with a partner, a lot of people will wonder who “the mom” is. It’ll be a good idea if you make things straight from the very beginning. You explain to “people” that, since neither of you can breastfeed, the question is absurd.
Children of gay parents are inclined to be more tolerant and open-minded compared to their peers. They grow up to be empathetic and are prone to develop a wise and sober understanding of different family arrangements. The fact that they have two dads in no way should influence their social functioning and mental health. The only thing that is of true importance for a child is that they feel loved. Everything else in parenting can be bought, borrowed, or Googled.
