Dealing with a Friend Breakup Like an Adult

Losing friends is a part of life. Hell, how many of us are still best friends with people from kindergarten? Exactly. Growing up it was just a natural part of the human experience. With each passing year, you got different classes, met new people, social circles changed and you gradually found new members for your tribe. However, it is different when you’re older. You no longer have the safety net of school to guide you towards new friends because let’s be real...making friends as a grown-ass adult can be hard as fuck so when you do lose a friend, it can cause a whirlwind of emotions. Harder than a romantic breakup, friend breakups are the worst and we are here to help you deal with them like the adult you are.

Give Backs

More so than when you’re with a romantic partner, you tend to lend a lot of shit to your friends. We are talking a season’s worth of clothes, pots, pans, social security numbers - the freaking works. So when it is time to part ways you need to do the grown thing and give it all back. Do not be petty and keep a specific tee they asked for and “you couldn’t find” only to post a selfie wearing it days later with the caption, “Felt cute. Might never delete. #fashionista.” Do not be that person and just hand them over a box full of everything that’s rightfully theirs.

Ditch the Petty

Speaking of social media, do not go on a tirade about your now ex-friend online. First off, that only makes you look coo coo bananas. Secondly, you are not a 12-year-old with a secret IG account their parents do not know about. Your friendship could have ended for a multitude of reasons but that’s between you and them, not your timeline and the rest of the world.

Stop Lurking

The worst part about the internet is that it truly brings out the crazy in all of us at some point. We’ve all had those instances where we’re up late, lurking someone’s profile just to see what’s going on in their lives and then spend the next few hours obsessing over whatever it is we saw. Yeah, don’t do that. It is not healthy and we’re sure you could use your time more wisely.

Watch Your Mouth

What’s easy about a breakup from a romantic partner is that often times it is easy to split the friends up. Now when you break up with a friend, it is likely that you rolled with the same people so it can get tricky - if you let it. If neither of you is willing to part with particular mutuals, then don’t. Stay friends with them as well but do not bad mouth the friend you just broke up with to the mutual. It is not only in bad taste but also puts the mutual in an awkward position where they have to sit and listen to one friend shit on another.

Be Civil

It is one thing not to bad mouth your ex-friend to your mutuals behind their back, it is another to hold your tongue if you do happen to see them again because let’s face it - if you keep mutual friends, you are going to run into one another. So just because you two are not kicking anymore does not mean that you have to be a total bitch in their presence. You guys can put whatever drama behind you for those moments where your other friends need both of you be it a birthday party or a wedding.