Does Your Boyfriend Owe You Sex?

Article written by Rahmel Reid

Just so we’re clear, sex is a NEED! Not a RIGHT! So to get right to the point, no your boyfriend (or partner, or wife, however you choose to break it down), does not owe you sex!

Whether you’re married or dating, there is this (often unspoken) rule or expectation that your partner has sexual duties to fulfill. It could be mutual or leaning more towards one way, but I would be ignorant to not acknowledge that this isn’t a way that a lot of people think. Let me just state it for the record, your partner DOES NOT OWE YOU SEX.

If we’re being honest, most humans are very primal when it comes to sex. And us gays certainly aren’t shy, when it comes to sex. It plays a big part in our relationships. It can almost make or break a relationship. But that doesn’t mean that that’s all the relationship should solely be based around. Sex is a necessity in relationships, but it’s not owed to you. There could be a plethora of reasons as to why your partner may not be willing to have sex with you, at any point throughout your relationship. It could be their mental wellbeing, physical insecurities or they could just be going through a phase where their experiencing a low sex drive. Whatever the reason, I personally think you should set aside your horniness, to make sure that your partner is feeling emotionally supported.

However, that doesn’t mean that your needs and wants should completely get put on the back burner. Sex is essential to a healthy relationship, and eventually — you’ll get tired of beating your dick every time you get the urge. So what’s the best way to approach this? A honest conversation with your partner! Just because you feel sex deprived, doesn’t mean you have the right to go out and cheat and be deceitful. Check in with your partner and express how you’re feeling. Instead of unloading in someone else behind his back, choose to unpack your issues and have open communication. Maybe this will be a changing point in the relationship — possibly an open relationship? Or maybe he’ll try to step it up in the sexual department. It could even mean that you two are desiring different things and this could be the beginning of the end. But you owe each other that conversation.

So to reiterate, no your partner doesn’t owe you sex — but he does owe you a conversation at the very least. Once the two of you figure out what the issue is (possibly even with the assistance of a therapist if need be), you can proceed from there. But just because you feel sex deprived in a relationship, does not give you the right to cheat! Relationships are more than just sex; there’s respect, trust, being each other’s safe space. So check in with your partner before you decide to check out of the relationship.