Article by Ben Haynes
One indisputable truth to living authentically as a gay man is that men will be the center of the universe. Whether we like it or not, our lives are surrounded by our fixation upon and love for men.
Alan Downs, the author of the LGBTQ+ favorite novel, The Velvet Rage, eloquently stated, "When you love a man, it fundamentally changes you." As gay men, we know this all too well.
But what about men makes us so enamored with them, despite all the challenges, drama, and heartbreak we incur from them?
Here we look at how our senses tell us which men we find most attractive.
The Way a Man Smells
Trust me when I say anything you thought of upon reading that headline will probably be discussed here!
The aroma of a sexy, masculine man is enough to make most peoples' knees weak. Whether cologne, general musk, or straight-up stink, men give off just the right smell to attract a mate wherever they go. It's a well-known fact of science: smells attract others to you.
Think of a particular man you felt exceptionally connected to. This connection can be sexual, spiritual, or even more profound than either of those options. Odds are, you enjoyed the way he smelled. Ever picked up a man's shirt after he'd stripped and tossed it aside to give it a whiff? You're not crazy- the men we find attractive just smell so good.
You wouldn't be wrong to argue that for every good smell a handsome man has, there are five bad ones. An array of burps, farts, and other sounds and smells I can't bring myself to say come to mind. We all make them and choose not to talk openly about them. They're part of the package that comes with loving a man.
The Taste of a Man
Once again, I'm sure your mind went in several directions! We'll explore them all!
In those profound, passionate moments with sexy men, our mouths navigate every square inch of their bodies. In doing so, our senses are on high alert, especially our taste buds.
In those moments of heightened sensuality, we taste our lovers' sweat and various body oils. Provided the connection and/or desire is strong, they taste better than any Refresher on the Starbucks menu.
During these sensual encounters, we might taste other bodily fluids from our man of choice. Depending on your preferences, a man's cum can be a trip to Nirvana or a total turn-off. Whatever the case, a man's taste is irresistible and unforgettable in every way.
A Well-Dressed Man
You can learn a lot about a person by how they present themselves. One of the best forms of self-expression is how we style ourselves. As gay men, we often compete with…ourselves to be the best-dressed man in the room.
While we love a look, there's no better look than a handsome man who presents himself neatly and confidently. In 2019, Princeton published a study detailing that men who effectively style themselves are perceived to have a higher level of competence. When was the last time you were impressed by someone who looked like they had just rolled out of bed? Don't worry… I'll wait!
Though we agree that a well-dressed man is a significant turn-on, we all differ slightly in our personal definition of style. Some men might chase after others who follow and partake in all the latest fashion trends, while others seek the classic look of a t-shirt and jeans. (I find a man in a gray shirt and well-fitting jeans to be mouth-watering.)
The Sound of a Man’s Voice
Those rugged, masculine voices from handsome men are some of the sexiest things in the world. Those deep tones to a man's voice stem from his testosterone levels (AKA the reason for everything on this list). If you have fantasies about deep-voiced men, you're not alone.
But it's about more than just the depth of the voice. Sometimes, a man with a soft, gentle touch to his words is enough to knock the wind out of our lungs. Think of the most attractive man you've ever encountered. Odds are, his voice was insanely sexy to you.
Though we all differ somewhat in our definition of a sexy voice, we know one when we hear it!
The Feel of a Man
It's time to go deep (yes, you read that) into what we love the most about men.
When a man you like, love, want to sleep with, or even have the slightest "tingle" for touches you, it's game over. Electricity surges through your veins, and for even just a moment, all is right in the world.
It's the rough calluses on his hands from the weights he lifts for some. Others love the tickle of his scruff as it rubs against your face and body. The electrifying touch from his hands, whether gentle or rough, can send us to cloud nine. The wild and rugged, or soft and smooth feel to his feet's soles quench our fetishes' thirst.
In the bedroom, we experience a man's touch much more intimately. Here, it's the way he feels inside of us or the way he feels when we're inside of him. Whether we explore oral or anal sex, the feel of a man's body in or around ours is second to none, leaving us craving and obsessing for more.
Men will forever be an enigma to us. Try though we might, we will forever be perplexed and riddled with curiosity as to why we put ourselves through the obstacle course known as being in love with a man.
Though what causes us to love specific, individual men differs from person to person, it all begins with simple science. Our most fundamental perceptions of men drive us to desire them in ways we don't even always understand.
Next time you catch yourself eyeing that handsome man at the gym, tune in to what draws your attention first.