Growing Up As The Child of Gay Parents

Article written by Maya Vukovska

It will take ages before people stop questioning whether children are better off with a mother and a father than with same-sex partners. Opponents of marriage equality continue to stir hysteria. Although there are societies, like the Scandinavian countries, where same-sex parenting is not frowned upon in any way, the general public still refuses to acknowledge that the keys to a healthy childhood are stability and love, and not the sex, the age, or the social and financial status of the care-providers. The still existing social stigma is the reason why many young people are ashamed and silent about being raised by two dads or two moms. But fortunately, that’s not always the case! Because there are also many other kids who don’t give a damn about heteronormative gender roles and are completely happy living with their two Petes.

But what is really like to be raised by two fathers? We, at AC, have the answer.

People can be judgmental and hateful

Unless you live and thrive surrounded by fellow gay and gay-friendly people and their extended families, you must have realized by now that some exemplary US citizens can be real a**holes. On the surface, they appear open-minded and LGBTQ supportive, but secretly they hate the idea of their kids playing with the kids of the gay neighbors. What if they see with their innocent eyes two men kissing each other? It can damage their psyche, and what’s worse, make them gay! The right way to react to such a prejudiced attitude is not by turning a deaf ear, but with understanding and patience. The kids know that their dads are the best in the world and that it'll just take some more time for the others to realize it, too. And when that eventually happens, that will be a turning point for everyone.

The kids are OK. Actually, they more than fine!

Researches on children raised by same-sex couples show that such family arrangement is no disadvantage to them, which means that there is no evidence that kids develop better in a “standard” household. In fact, studies conclude that these kids grow to be more empathetic and open-minded, and are considerably better at communicating their feelings. Here's another bonus point: As they are not required to follow rigid gender roles, they have a much wider range of interests they feel freer than their peers to pursue.

Have you heard of Zachary Matheson? He is not famous, not like Madonna-famous, I mean, but he is his own kind of celebrity. In 1987, Zachary became the first baby to be officially adopted by two men, and that’s why, he is probably the best choice if we are looking for the answer to the question what it is like to be raised by two dads. Some years ago, he did write a piece on the topic at Quora. In his lovely, moving essay, he talks candidly and with immense love about his childhood and his dads. This is how summarizes his experience about living with gay parents:

“It’s boring. I don’t mean boring like waiting-for-water-to-boil boring. I mean it’s humdrum, mundane, plain-vanilla. Because being raised by two dads is just like being raised by a mom and a dad. My mom just happens to be gay.”