Article written by Eris Chase


We all know this guy, the one who it feels like was born with wizard-level self  confidence. Rizz? He invented it. Spins game out of his mouth like the boys in front of  the bodega. Always the right fit, always the right hair, perpetually in shape, waxed to  perfection, Greek God body with a natural glow. He could steal your boyfriend, your  brother, and your best friend's dog all with just a half smile. AND! He’s nice, like “Oh,  fuck off, then. No one is that nice.” kind of nice. This bruh is. Send your grandma a  card on her 80th birthday, nice. Much as we want to groan when he saunters in a  room, we can’t help wanting just a little more of what he has for ourselves. He has that  Big Dick Energy, that BDE, and we’re gonna tell you how to be a grower and a shower  in your own right.  

Whisper Sweetness into Your Own Ears  

It all starts with self-love… and doesn’t everything? You have to love and embrace  your quirks, your flaws, and your insecurities just as much as you love and embrace  your strengths. When you’re fully comfortable being exactly authentically you, you’ll  become much more naturally self-confident. Start with some honey for your soul. An  internal dialogue reminding yourself that you’re worthy of attention, success,  friendships, and abundance. Repeat those words of love over and over to yourself  until you break out of your Eeyore-esque “I’m not good enough. When will it be my  turn? Poor me.” ways!  

Get Your Wingstaff Sorted  

Surround yourself with those friends that build you up! No time right now for your  mean girl friends (and, side note, why are you hanging out with them anyway???). Be  around the ones who make you laugh, that highlight your best qualities, and love all  your youness. Positive energy is infectious and rubs off on you in big ways. When  you’re filled up with it, it flows naturally out of you.  

Put Your Chest Out  

Like… seriously, literally put your chest out. Physically. Roll those shoulders back, lift  up your head, puff out your chest, and own the room you enter. Having swagger  actually starts with swagger. Learn how to walk tall. Look out and forward. Smile, extend your hand… project like you’re about to conquer the Roman Empire in the 4th  century. Show them you have perseverance and strength.  

Push Your Style  

Look good, feel even better. Find a style that reflects your personality. Make super  sure your kit is on point. If it’s a suit, make it flawlessly tailored. If it’s streetwear, it  needs to be effortless with the perfect slouch. Campy? Bring that floral leisurewear of  the 70’s to a modern cut. Leather? Go high-end. Custom fits and details that serve a  purpose. You don’t want to look like you’re cosplaying a version of the ideal you. Go  for a look that exudes the desired unstoppable you.  

Gym, Hygiene, Food  

This goes right along with upping your style game. Take care of your body, baby.  Workout, lift heavy, go for a run, etc. to pump up those endorphins and serotonin  levels, aka, free happy drugs, through your system. Meditate or do yoga to calm the  mind and release dopamine for pleasure, and GABA for calmness. Earn your merit  badge in bodily grooming and self-care. Hair, teeth, nails, and skin. Pamper them all.  Top it all off with clean healthy eating. The body gets stronger, the mind gets clearer,  and you start to radiate that outward glow.  

Don’t Be a Dick About It  

Remember, once you get yourself all swole up with big dick energy, don’t actually  become a dick. There can be a fine line between brimming with self-confidence in a  welcoming way and being a conceited cunt that no one wants to be around. Keep  that ego in check. Stay planted firmly in the big heart, big friendly, big sweetness  camp.  

There you go, our help in growing your Big Dick Energy. Love yourself, surround  yourself with positive vibes, and strut through this world with confidence. Find your  style, take care of your body and mind. Stay humble. The world is ready for your  perfect balance of sugar and swagger. Go get ‘em, gorgeous!

April 17, 2024 — Andrew Christian