Written by J Matthew Cobb

Have you ever found yourself in the situation of wanting to make someone a tad bit envious of you? Maybe it’s some newly discovered competition. Maybe it’s a hater on the line. Or maybe some pesky ex still in your orbit. Well, nobody likes a scorned lover. And we all know that revenge is a meal best served cold, but if you ever find yourself jammed in such a situation, the best way to remedy it is not just to get even, but to get smart with it. So let’s point out some very creative ways in staging your comeback…or at least an epic clap back. Here’s seven practical power points you can apply to your life to help give you leverage over the situation.

Get fashion forward.

via GIPHY Why not go on a shopping spree and hunt for the latest fashions. Put some stock into your wardrobe. What better way to getting your closest enemies and others around you to notice you than with a sleek fashion statement. READ MORE: 5 TIMELESSLY SEXY THINGS A MAN CAN DO A hot sale is a good way of starting your engines, buy why not go for something with a little more bang to it. Like a sexy tailored suit. Or some name brand items. Or clothing and shoes purchased out of your region to wow the locals. Maybe some fancy AC underwear to show off at the next pool party or the next underwear night at the club.

Find your sounds of success.

via GIPHY Oh, this is going to bless you in more ways than one in the long run. If you really want to put a real exclamation point on your life, put a boost on your resume. Work on you. Graduate to the next level in life. Invest in yourself. If that means going back to school, seeking a job promotion or making a newspaper headline (preferably good news), go for it.

Get you a boo upgrade.

via GIPHY If we’re keeping score and you’re somehow single, it’s probably a safe bet to go to next level status. Score you a hottie. Grab yourself an upgrade if you’re hunting for a boo thang. And if not, well, nothing’s wrong with FWB. Or a hot fling. READ MORE: WHAT TYPE OF DRAG QUEEN ARE YOU? If you’re on the apps along with the one you’re trying to raise the jealousy bar up on, be very careful in your search. You never want to come across as the scorned bitter lover seeking to just make a point, especially if it’s an ex or an ex of your ex. Be serious and authentic about your search. And don’t toss out a whole lot about your circumstances, because if you screw up your hunt, you’ll quickly be labeled desperate. We don’t want that to happen.

Work that body.

via GIPHY If you’re not a #MCM fantasy for someone, you need to work on it. Instead of relying on easy filters to play up your beauty, try improving your exterior by devoting your time to a disciplined rhythm of exercise and diet. And there’s good reason why this will work in the long run. Sure, it’ll make ‘em jealous, but think of all the amazing advantages you have to gain. READ MORE: GROUP MASTURBATION: DOING WHAT GUYS DO ALONE, TOGETHER Working out has proven to be a powerful way to build up self-esteem. When you exercise, you also release body chemicals known as endorphins, an important counterattack on depression, stress and pain. It’s also a good move for your psychological betterment. But when your body is sickening and on fleek, it’s a sure bet that you’ll unleash a hurricane of jealousy in the world of your opponents. You’ll quickly be the envy of the town.

Play up that sex appeal.

via GIPHY Nothing turns up the heat of jealousy like a dazzling whirl of confidence. Half of the battle lies in beefing up your sex appeal, so start producing more of that machismo. Work on that eye contact game. And get creative with exuding more sexuality, even if you have to practice your body moves and mannerisms in the mirror.

Get social.

via GIPHY Be a flirt. Be a scene stealer. Develop that inner circle. Become more outgoing. If you’re too shy, beef up your social media. Get on the hookup apps and slyly insert in your bio a few superlatives about your personality and being out-going. Oh, that’s if you are. If you’re not, stick to the script. No one wants a person that exaggerates or inflames a bunch of lies. Don’t be that guy.

Ignore him.

via GIPHY Not every one’s an extrovert. I get it. And if you happen to be one, the aforementioned steps might be a challenge. But sometimes, the best way of getting underneath a person’s skin is to just ignore them entirely. Act like they don't exist. And if you do this rule with a level of mastery, you’ll totally win the fight. There’s a good chance they might be losing a little sleep from your sharp execution of supreme shade.
September 13, 2018 — Andrew Christian