How to Avoid Remembering it's Singles Awareness Day

Article written by Kendra Beltran

If there is one day that all single people live to avoid it is well, most holidays that involve being around family who ask, “So...still single?” The big one though is Valentine’s Day, but did you know there is an even worse day for those who find themselves romantically unattached? Yup, the day after Cupid flies his little naked ass away, in comes Singles Awareness Day. Just like the day before, singles will want to avoid being reminded they are forever alone - and we have a few ideas on how to dodge this single day on the calendar.

Turn Off Your Phone

Everyone that is coupled up will post ad nauseam on Valentine’s Day, but what single people tend to forget is that social media is all about algorithms nowadays. So those posts you thought you avoided by turning your phone upside down on the actual day...most will be waiting for you when you pick up your beloved cellular device on Singles Awareness Day. Do not fall victim to that level of harassment. Just turn your phone off altogether, leave it in your dresser, and go about your day like it is 1995.

Go Outside

If you cannot possibly sit in your home all day without your phone while it is off and out of sight, then head outside. Get some vitamin D since well, you ain’t getting actual D. If you were, you wouldn’t be trying to avoid this day, right? Go for a walk, a hike, a bike ride - basically anything that will keep your mind occupied while also getting some exercise. It is a win-win situation.

Stay Away from the Store

If you head out on Single Awareness Day, try and avoid any and all stores you know sell various Valentine’s Day decor, candy, and gifts because that shit does not disappear overnight. Oh no, we all know that the 15th of February is all about items in various hues of red and pink sitting pretty in the discount aisle. I mean, if you do not mind Valentine’s Day reminders once it is over...then, by all means, take advantage of half-price candy. If you can’t deal with that on top of being single? Stay. Away.

Throw Pleasure Party for One

Everyone learns pretty early on in life that they do not need anyone else to have a great time. Yes, we are talking about tossing on your favorite adult cinema experience, lighting some candles, and going to town all by yourself. In the end, who knows the best way to make you feel pleasure other than yourself? Jerking off is always a great idea, but an even better one when you feel like the greeting card aisle was calling you out for being labeled the “single friend” all the damn time.

Hook Up

There is a moment on ‘The Office’ that we all know all too well, and that is when Ryan hooks up with Kelly on February 13th. We all know that is a huge mistake, but no one has ever said a damn thing about hitting and quitting it the day after.

Embrace It

Sometimes when you embrace the things that make your stomach do more flips than an Olympic gymnast, it makes it easier to deal with. With that, our final bit of advice is to just take on the day head-on. If you can’t beat it, fucking celebrate it. Throw a Singles Awareness Party via Zoom and toast with friends about the joys of being on your own, not having had to spend money on Valentine’s Day, and how much you appreciate unattached sex.