Have you ever woken up in a puddle of your cum with a beautiful, though quickly unraveling memory of screwing your dream boy? It’s definitely not a bad way to start the day. Wet dreams are among the most rewarding of visitations for sleepers. In fact for some people, dream sex can be so amazing as to being the preferred method of orgasm. And what if I told you that they employ certain tactics that allow them to have dream sex whenever they want and with whomever they want? I know it may sound too good to be true. But the honest truth is--with the right practice and dedication--you could have nightly dream sex with any man you can conjure up in your mind. A skilled wet dreamer can sleepily screw an AC Trophy Boy, suck off Bill Skarsgård, and get a rimjob from Abraham Lincoln all in the span of one eight-hour slumber. The key to achieving this is a practice known as lucid dreaming. Lucid dreaming is the practice of recognizing that you’re dreaming while the dream is happening, thereby taking over the course of events in the dream. Using mindfulness training and conditioned Pavlovian responses to alert them to fishinesss, lucid dreamers can control a dream and manifest their will like it’s the goddamn Sims. So yes, this means you can fly to Mars or whatever, but who wants to do that when I can get fucked doggystyle by a seven-dicked hydra drag queen beast? The possibilities are truly endless, but getting there takes months, maybe years of practice. Taking steps like making a dream journal, conducting periodic reality checks during the day, and performing mindfulness meditation will boost your odds of having consistent, mind-blowing dream sex. But even after you achieve lucidity, it can take some practice to prevent the overwhelmingly excitement from startling you awake. With rigor and dedication though, everyone can engage in lucid dream sex--just make sure you’re getting dream consent. ;)
August 22, 2018 — Andrew Christian