Separated From Your Partner Because of Quarantine? Here’s How to Cope with his Absence
Article written by Maya Vukovska
From Canada to Russia, from Finland to Brazil, people around the world are struggling with how to manage the relationships with their partners who are castaways in another household, another town, or even another country. The pandemic situation has driven many couples apart, and although nobody knows how long it’s going to last, you shouldn’t give up on your partners or lover just because your future is uncertain. Yes, we know you miss your guy like crazy, but you need to get your shit together and be strong… for both of you. In case you have a really tough time coping with your boyfriend’s absence, here are some tips you may find useful.
Less is more
If you give it some (sober!) thinking, you’ll come to the conclusion that this enforced separation time is actually a blessing. The less you see of each other, the more you start to appreciate each other! The constantly growing feeling of missing the other person brings back lovely memories of all the first things you did together: first touches, first kisses, first boners… And you’ll eventually remember why you fell for this man in the first place. His absence is an eye-opener, and when the quarantine is over, you’ll be able to enjoy his presence in your life even more than before. It’s quaranteed :)
Walk in his shoes… literally
Walking in someone’s shoes is just an idiomatic expression. But you can turn that into an actual activity that might bring comfort in your solitude. Wear his T-shirts, or flip-flops, or even those hideous baggy sweatpants you’ve been tempted so many times to secretly throw away while he was not at home. Wearing your lover’s clothes will feel as if you were wearing him. The intimacy of sharing a piece of clothing sure feels nice, but it must stop there. Using his toothbrush would be a little too gross.
You browse through the photo albums on your phone, and you can’t help but cry every time you come upon a picture of you two together. This is called nostalgia, and yes, it’s perfectly fine to feel nostalgic. Although you have the feeling that nostalgia for “the good old times when we were together” is slowly killing you, we can assure you that this feeling does exactly the opposite. Studies have shown that nostalgia has the potential to lift one’s spirit and make them feel more connected to the people they miss the most. But only if it's the healthy way to nostalgize. It certainly doesn’t involve grieving over the past. So when you look at a selfie of yourself and your SO at the beach, or your favorite dinner place or party, try to focus on the enduring connection you have with the guy instead of the fact that the beach is now empty, and the diner is closed down.
Look at your relationship from another angle
You know, quarantine or not, many people have been in long distance relationships for months and even years and it’s worked just fine for them. Probably you wonder how that’s even possible. Actually, it all comes down to adjusting your mindset for a happy and successful relationship. If you can level up your mindset to the current circumstances, you’ll be able to not only see your relationship from another angle (and re-evaluate it!), but also to perceive your own life as it is, no matter what’s happening on a global scale right now.
Have video chat sex
Probably, that’s the only piece of advice you saw coming before even started reading this article. Needless to say, sex-via-video-chat is the new sex-sex thing out there. How do you think gay men around the world are managing their erections now? Keep in mind though, that having cyber sex with your man is not the same as masturbating to a porn video. Especially since you’re seeing yourself, too! Be professional and create the perfect setting for your video sex date. And there are a lot of elements to consider, like the right angle, and the lightning, and the sound quality. If it’s your first time (which we very much doubt) and you’re still feeling shy about doing it in from of the camera, try initiating the sex with a bit of sexting first. Even a good old phone call may do the magic, who knows…
Whatever you do while you two, lovebirds, are separated, remember one thing: Communication shouldn’t be about how you’re communicating, but rather with whom you’re communicating.