Six Rules Of Anonymous Sex

Article written by Rahmel Reid

Ever wonder why some of your casual sex experiences never result in a second or third session? One of those late night dimly lit sessions. Or perhaps a gloryhole visitor only stopped by once. Chances are, someone fucked up somewhere along the line. Believe it or not, there are rules to casual sex. But specifically, anonymous sex. There are just certain things you don’t do or ask if you’ve found yourself in one of those “NSA Anon” kind of scenarios. So just in case you’ve been ghosted, after your ghost sexual encounter or you’re looking to explore anonymous sex; here are six rules that you should take into consideration.

LESS IS MORE!

The less questions you ask your anonymous sex partner, the more comfortable they’ll be with you. You both signed up for a no-strings-attached, anonymous fuck. That means you don’t get to ask them their name. Are they single? Where do they live? What they do for work? Do you have any kids? Gay, bi, straight? Stop! This is not what they signed up for! All he wanted was to slide his dick in something warm and gushy on his hour long lunch break, that’s it. He never wanted a long list of interview questions. If this isn’t something you can subscribe to, then you shouldn’t be engaging in anon sex.

GLORYHOLES

You do know asking for a face picture for a gloryhole visit literally defeats the entire ass purpose of said gloryhole, right? In the late ‘90s and early 2000s, a lot of down-low business men that were living a double life, would frequent gloryholes as they commuted to or from work. Hell, some days it may have been a stop each way. But the anonymity of the gloryhole is exactly what they liked. Asking for a dick picture is standard. An ass picture, standard. Asking to see the gloryhole… annoying but to some, a standard. Asking for a face picture? Asinine. Hand over your gay card right now!

TRYING TO CONVERT INTO A FWB

Sometimes we just have to live in the moment and enjoy the ass we’re fucking or the dick we’re sucking. In gay culture, there’s a chance you may never link up with this guy again. But in the anonymous sector? The odds are even worse. But, there are those beautiful moments when it’s just so good, that he may hit you up again months from now. Aw look at you being gods favorite. But in the event that you’re craving more, try to fight the urge of asking him for his number in an attempt to get something steady going. Even if it is just casual anonymous sex. You guys agreed to meet up and fuck under one set of (unspoken) rules, don’t go throwing a wrench into the gears now.

PUBLIC SIGHTING

You better pretend like your Stevie Wonder if you ever spot your anonymous sex buddy in public. If he hasn’t even shared his name with you why do you think it would be okay to approach him in the frozen appetizers aisle in Trader Joe’s? We have to use our common sense here. Yes, saying hello to someone you’ve met is always a kind gesture, but we’re operating under a different set of circumstances here. At best, the eye lock and a slight nod/smirk is the most acknowledgement that should occur. But if he is acting like he doesn’t know you, well for one, it’s because he really doesn’t if you think about it but two — just play along.

CRUISING

Whether it’s at the gym, the park, mall bathrooms… this is perhaps where you need the absolute most discretion. I don’t recommend cruising for everyone, some of you gays aren’t sly enough and make too many potential hot encounters, very awkward. You literally have to read the room and pick up on so many different signals. Is it a jerk off, oral, anal or all of the above type of cruising moment? And if it’s anal are you prepared for that? Is your ass cleaned out and do you have condoms if needed? These encounters have so much potential but there are a lot of things you have to factor in. If you typically aren’t a person that’s hyper aware of your surroundings, let’s maybe skip the public play.

NO PHONE ZONE

Aside from it being morally corrupt, recording someone (without their acknowledgment and consent) during an anonymous sexual encounter is extremely fucked up. I know in this day and age of adult content creators and every Tom, Dick and Harry trying to monetize their sexual encounters — recording has become the norm. But that’s not everybody’s reality. Not everyone wants sexual Twitter infamy, they literally just wanted to shoot their load. Unless you know that the person is into recording sexual content, don’t even ask them if you can record. Anytime someone asks me that I cancel plans to meet up with them because now I’m always wondering if they’re just going to hide the camera and record or discreet encounter, discreetly. If you’re out cruising, don’t pull out your damn phone and take it upon yourself to record strangers doing the same thing that you’re doing. Recording people in the act, which can potentially lead to them being exposed on the internet — can literally land you on a sex offenders list or fighting a revenge porn case. Again, let's use our common sense folks.

Anonymous sex isn’t for everyone but it certainly has it’s community. You just have to determine if this lifestyle is meant for you. But if it’s not, that’s absolutely fine. Aside from these six rules, the most obvious thing you have to prioritize is your health. Use condoms, get tested, get on prep and be safe! And this is a rule for all dating scenarios, catfishing is never cool. Ever.