Usually, a boner is one of the best things to have. But on those rare occasions when one crops up ill-timedly, it can sometimes be difficult to deal with it. Of course, the best way to deal with an erection is just to ejaculate it, but in these situations we’re just going to assume that that’s not an option. So, without further ado, here are seven creative ways to deal with unexpected boners:
1. Meditation
Hummm. Hummmmmm. Take a deep breath and really feel the inhalation and exhalation as they go. When an unexpected boner breaks your zen, meditation can be a good way to calm things down. Focus on each part of your body relaxing one at a time… including your cock.
2. Think about some fucked up shit
Conversely, the power of the mind can be invoked to conjure some really fucked up shit. Tap into the darkest corners of your imagination, like, you like imagining RuPaul’s drag getting canceled. Your boner won’t stand a chance.
3. The tuck
This is a classic tactic, when you can’t stop to actually deal with the boner but just need it to be less visible. This move involves tucking your erect dick up under the waistband of your pants, effectively negating the bulging effect. This is a tried and true method, but expert boner-spotters may still be able to detect it, depending on your girth and pant tightness.
4. Use your pockets
Alternately, you can use your pockets to your advantage. Adopt a nonchalant posture and casually put your hands into your pockets. Now you can secretly grab your dick and holding it in on one side. Just don’t get carried away, fella.
5. Cover it up with something
Depending on the situation and ability for your clothing to mask the boner, sometimes it can be necessary to introduce a foreign object to obscure the erection. If there’s a small lap dog or perhaps a large coffee table book, strategically positioning an item such as these can effectively prevent your throbbing dick from being spotted.
6. Exercise
Finally, one of the best go-to methods for killing a boner on the spot is engage in some quick vigorous physical activity, and I don’t mean rapidly jerking off. No, something like running in place or push-ups should be just the ticket to get out of Bonertown. You know, 'cause you're redirecting the blood flow or something? Who knows? But it works!
If you try all of these things and your boner still won’t go away, then you can safely that it’s time to cum. ;)
