Article written by Maya Vukovska

The last decade brought upon the human race Brexit, the cryptocurrency craze, the #MeToo movement, the rise of cancel culture, the European migrant crisis, and the Covid pandemic. But it’s been also the age of sending nudes. Many nudes. Millions a day. Technological advances made it easier for every one of us to let the world know who we are, what we eat for breakfast, and what our last purchases are. They also revolutionalized dating, with sexting and sending nudes bringing it to a completely new level.

Sending (and receiving!) shots of erected dicks and naked butts can be great fun, but sometimes nudes can be a huge turnoff. Here are the top 6 things that make a nude picture repulsive.

Unprompted nudes

As a rule, men prefer a very direct approach when it comes to sending jeans-off pictures. A recent survey has shown that the demand for such shots in the gay dating arena has been greater compared to the heterosexual such. Gay dating apps have given safe space for gay, bi, and trans people to freely express their sexual desires. But with freedom comes also great pressuring for nudes. Sometimes, you just don’t want to see someone’s private parts only ten minutes into the conversation. But here it comes with no warning whatsoever - a monstrous veiny, uncut dick filling almost the whole screen of your phone. Sending nudes without being asked is probably the top turnoff. So, you’d better take some time to get to know a little bit the person behind the avatar before sending him a selfie with your boxers down.

Exposing body imperfections

Nude pictures can serve not only sexual purposes but are also a great tool for boosting one’s self-love. However, no matter how body-positive you are, there are some unaesthetic parts of your body that you’d better keep to yourself. Say, your intention is to take a shot of your sexy behind in the bathroom mirror. But the shooting angle also puts on display your hairy back. Too much hair where its not supposed to be, inflamed acne, greasy hair, and unkempt genital area can gross out even the most unpretentious sex-seekers.

Erection

I know, I know, nudes exchanged between gays won’t be a proper sex invitation if erection is missing. But let’s be honest here - haven’t you had enough of gonzo-shot dick pics? If we are thinking aesthetic in terms of beauty and art, then erection-free male nudity is considered tasteful. Here’s a perfect example. Although Michelangelo’s David’s penis is at rest, he is still believed to be the world’s most beautiful man of all time. The icon of Renaissance male beauty, David has never been given the thumbs down about his flaccid penis.

Messy background

It doesn’t take just a well-built body and a nice-looking ass to produce an appealing nude picture. People do pay attention to your surroundings, you know. Smeared mirrors, hoarder-like messy bedrooms, piles of cardboard boxes with pizza leftovers and empty cans all over the place… Nobody’s asking you for National Geographic level photography but just a little grooming of the background makes great difference. How clean someone keeps their habitat is an indicator of how clean they keep themselves. And most of your potential lovers won’t let their faces pushed into dirty bed sheets, believe me!

Sittin’ on the toilet

Unless you are the black lady from the popular 2009 video by the same name, taking pictures of yourself while (presumably) taking a shit is the worst idea for a sexy nude ever.
Some gay guys think that if they show they have a bidet, that will add to their high-class appeal. Alas, it doesn’t work that way. A summa cum laude Harvard diploma can be a much bigger turn-on than a bidet!

Bad lightning

The aesthetic of ANY picture can be ruined by bad lighting. Even if you are the cutest guy on the face of the Earth, shooting against the light can totally ruin it for you. Unless you've gotten the knack of how backlighting can be effectively captured, the images on your naked body will appear all washed out. Disappointing!

When it comes to pornography (which nude pictures really are), terms like “aesthetically pleasing” and “tasteful” are purely subjective. It is certainly a dicey grey area one can get lost in. Yet, keeping to one simple rule can save you from embarrassing moments. A tasteful nude picture should be about sex, yes, but also about respect for yourself and the person you are sending it to.

September 07, 2021 — Andrew Christian
Tags: Listicles