6 Things To Do When You're Stuck Without Dick That Are Still Satisfying
So you are stuck inside and have no idea how long it will be until your life will go back to normalcy. From brunches to happy hour, it all seems like so long ago. Especially the dick. Oh. My. Gawd. It has been a little too long since you have gotten fucked and we feel you. We. Feel. You. But never fear, because without a nice, juicy dick to distract you - you can finally get around to some other satisfying things around the house to fill your time.
1. Fashion Binge
Honey, I want you to be 100% honest with us right now. How overcrowded is your closet? We would bet good money that it has been years since you last went through your clothes and tossed the shit you have not worn since Aquaria was watching ‘Drag Race’ with only dreams of one day being crowned. Yeah, it has been a while but now that you do not have your hand wrapped around a dick, you can get them on those hangers and start a donation pile. Not only will you feel insanely better looking at a closet that’s not packed tight, but you will also feel amazing knowing your old lewks will be someone’s new ones.2. Watch ASMR Videos
If the world around you is stressing you the fuck out, and the idea that dick may not come any time soon is doing just the same - then it is time to dive down the rabbit hole that is ASMR videos. They are not for everyone, but if you crave an audible relaxation tool then you should give this a try.3. Bathroom Cleanse
For those out there who are not as prim and proper as the rest of us, it is time to get down and dirty in a whole new way. We are talking about cleaning like really cleaning your bathroom. We are not just talking about wiping down a counter or tossing some bleach in the shower. Get behind that toilet bowl! Finally, get your ass under that sink and organize the hell out of it. Just do not forget to wear protection because bathroom messes are nasty as fuck.4. Social Media Clean Up
Your shower is not the only thing you can cleanse while waiting to get out of the house and back to your old ways. You can also use all of this extra time to go through all your social media accounts and clean them up. Why are you still friends with that one guy you hooked up with during Spring Break in...2014? Yeah, it is time to say adios to all these one-time acquaintances.5. Living Room Makeover
You are going to go stir crazy sitting inside, looking at the same damn shit day in and day out. And we know you have been thinking about giving your living room a much-needed makeover. You just have not had the time. Well, let’s be real - you have a lot more time nowadays so it’s time to commit. Rearrange the furniture, pull pieces from other rooms, hang up that erotic art piece you bought three years ago that you just rediscovered after cleaning out your closet!
