Give Porn (and Your Dick) a Break By Binging These Shows Instead

Article written by Kendra Beltran

When one is alone in the house for an extended period of time, of course porn comes into play. Hell, I like to pop that shit on as soon as I know I will be alone for even five minutes. Here is the thing though, that can actually get boring. *Gasp* I know. I know. I never thought I would see the day I called porn boring in any respect but here we are. So instead of yanking your dick raw, try and get your entertainment from these shows instead.

Riverdale

Yes, this is a teen drama but like with most shows portrayed within high school halls all the actors are like 20-something beefcakes. Archie Andrews may be the most annoying character on TV today but when he is shirtless he is quite possibly the best. Make sense? You get it. Anyways, while the comic strip this show is based off of was bright and cheery, the show is well, anything but. The characters are all there, but so is sex, drama, cult, murders, and so much more that you’ll be enthralled within five minutes.

Schitt’s Creek

If teen drama isn’t for you, and you feel more like laughing during your “me time,” then you are going to absolutely love ‘Schitt’s Creek.’ It stars our favorite ‘90s parentals, Eugene Levy (‘American Pie’) and Catherina O’Hara (‘Home Alone’ and ‘Home Alone 2’) and their spoiled adult children that lose it all, are forced to move to the only asset they have - a small town named Schitt’s Creek - and rebuild. If you found yourself enamored with the likes of ‘The Office’ and ‘Malcolm in the Middle,’ you will be entertained by this.

BONDiNG

If you’re looking to get a little darker with your comedy, then shall we suggest the quick fix that is Netflix’s ‘BONDiNG?’ Loosely based on creator Rightor Doyle’s experiences, this show is a wild one. You will get your laughs in, but just note they are found in the world of BDSM. Yeah, bond as in bondage! We follow a psychology student who works as a dominatrix and her gay bestie who because of his studious friend, finds himself a new interest. Bet you can guess what it is based on the title, but we will let you watch it unfold.

Pose

If you are craving glamour and fabulosity, then honey...why have you not been watching ‘Pose?’ Brought to you by the man who has scared the shit out of us for a damn decade with ‘American Horror Story,’ ‘Pose’ is not about ghosts and goblins, but instead the Black and Latino gods and goddesses who were tearing it up and making us gag for all the right reasons during the ballroom scene in New York City in the ‘80s and ‘90s. Come for the fashion, stay for the drama. Plus, how can you not watch Billy Porter slay?

Tiger King

This is not a show that will have numerous seasons. In fact, it is a documentary and not scripted at all. Even though once you watch you’ll think, how in the hell was any of that real? So let us just start here. It’s about a man who owned a zoo in Oklahoma named Joe Exotic and how his internet beef with a big cat rescue woman named Carole Baskin got out of hand. Throughout the seven-part documentary you meet Joe’s younger husbands (yes, there are a few), some sort of sex cult leader in Myrtle Beach, a swinger with too much money, and oh wait! There’s more. Election scandals, murder plots, drugs, and oh yeah...tigers.