Article written by Kendra Beltran

It is hard to explain why we have no real issue with being sexually attracted to vampires, werewolves, and ghosts. I guess if Adam Driver could have a fandom - anything is possible, right? Nevertheless, these spooky season baes have been portrayed in pop culture by a number of people so damn hot that weโ€™ve often considered the idea of fucking them. I mean, you only live once, why not mount a guy who may or may not turn into a rabid werewolf during a full moon? Or a guy who could potentially bite you and make you immortal? With all of that said, weโ€™re looking at the hottest monsters that weโ€™d risk our lives to fuck in the dead of night.

Edward Cullen, Twilight

Letโ€™s start with a little sparkle, shall we? Edward Cullen was the dreamboat of the โ€˜00s and well, he was a vampire. A glittery, emo, adult pretending to be in high school (who would want to go back?) to woo an even more emo girl. While the plot was as comical as the final on-screen product, that didnโ€™t stop you then and it doesnโ€™t stop you now from wanting a piece of that shiny vampireโ€™s ass.

Lestat de Lioncourt, Interview with a Vampire

For people of a particular age, โ€˜Interview with a Vampireโ€™ was it when you were growing up. Itโ€™s even likely that you started to feel things when Tom Cruiseโ€™s Lestat de Lioncourt appeared on screen the first time. We get it. Look at him. Remember, this was before he went and acted a fool on Oprahโ€™s couch. This was when anyone Cruise warranted your hormones and attention, especially when it was a hot ass bloodsucker.

R, Warm Bodies

We know we said this was all about the sex, but we couldnโ€™t help but fall dead over heels for the romantic zombie in โ€˜Warm Bodies.โ€™

Eric Northman, True Blood

Have you not laid eyes on this bloodthirsty creature played by Alexander Skarsgard? Yeah, thatโ€™s more than enough reason to give in to whatever he wants you to do.

Imhotep, The Mummy

He may be a mummy but weโ€™d do anything to call his daddy!

Blade, Blade

Weโ€™d be stupid not to want to fuck the vampire/human hybrid that was a legit superhero.

Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice

Heโ€™s a bad boy you could never take home to mom, but that doesnโ€™t mean you wouldnโ€™t want to scream his name more than three times in a night.

Scott Howard, Teen Wolf

Wait, what? Yes, weโ€™ve mentioned the most recent โ€˜Teen Wolfโ€™ but we had to shout out the boy next door wolf that first stole hearts thanks to Michael J. Fox in the โ€˜80s.

Angel & Spike, Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Unlike Buffy, we are not about to choose between these hot ass undead men. Weโ€™d take them separately but hell, who are we kidding? A threesome with a mere mortal tossed in the mix, now thatโ€™s hot.

Oz, Buffy the Vampire Slayer

We love a pint-sized werewolf.

Herman Munster, The Munsters

Imagine grabbing those bolts on the side of his neck while he gave you the best fuck of your lifeโ€ฆ

The Entire Vampire Diaries Universe

Julie Plec knew what she was doing when she brought โ€˜The Vampire Diariesโ€™ to life on The CW. It was basically picking up where โ€˜Buffyโ€™ left off, but increasing the sex appeal and making the vampires the center of the universe. In this world, there is no shortage of hot vampires youโ€™d want to fuck for eternity - which you could if you got bit! From the always dueling Salvatore brothers to the Mikaelsons led by the werewolf/vampire hybrid Klaus, the possibilities for mythological creature dick is endless.

The Countess, American Horror Story: Hotel

Here we have a bonus because there is no one on earth with hormones that could walk away not wanting to fuck Lady Gagaโ€™s Countess after the first episode of โ€˜American Horror Story: Hotel.โ€™ She made blood and sex look hotter than a Palm Springs pool party in the middle of July.

October 21, 2020 — Andrew Christian
Tags: Listicles