What Your Favorite Halloween Candy Says About Your Sex Life

Everything we do, say and even eat pertains to how we are as human beings and quite frankly, says a lot about how we are in bed. Yup, believe it or not, even what you put in your mouth (don’t be dirty right now) says a lot about your sex life. In this case, we are talking about your favorite Halloween candy. So if you thought we could not figure out how you are in bed or what you like when it comes to sex based on your Halloween candy preference, HA! We totally can and we are going to break it down right now.

Dots

Are you secretly 85? Dots are like a Great Depression candy. There is nothing fun or modern about those basic, gummy bitches. So if you are all hyped about getting a tiny yellow box filled with those, we can only assume that you’re not that adventurous in the sack. In fact, you kick it as old school as Dots’ packaging. You don’t like to be introduced to new positions, toys, or even partners. It’s like, a snooze fest as far as your dick’s concerned.

Sugar Daddy

Okay, so this doesn’t mean you like older men. That is just the name of this treat that takes jaws of steel to consume. With that, we’re saying that you are a BJ master when it comes to the craft and your mouth can bring a man to ecstasy in mere minutes.

Dark Chocolate and/or Black Licorice.

While we just said enjoying a Sugar Daddy over anything else is not an indication that you like older men, that ain’t the case here. If you crave the antiquated taste of dark chocolate and/or black licorice then you most definitely don’t mind sharing your bed with an older man. Don’t try and tell me older folks don’t remind you of dark chocolate and black licorice.

Skittles

You’re a fun one who likes variety if you have a thing for Skittles. Their slogan isn’t “taste the rainbow” for nothing. When it comes to sex and Skittles, it’s simple - you live for a myriad of flavors and one could never really pinpoint one type of guy or thing you’re into. You’re a surprise each and every time.

Jolly Rancher

Let’s be real, Jolly Ranchers are hard as hell to eat. Sticky morsels you can’t bite unless you’ve got metal teeth. But here’s the thing, once you put in the work and suck them down - delicious. This translates to you not being scared to put in a little extra work for a wonderful reward at the end of the night. Foreplay? Yes, please!

Hershey's

Whether it’s the bar or a kiss, it’s a classic that can never steer you wrong. How does that pertain to your sex life? Well, you’ve got it and you know what they say - if it ain’t broke, don’t go trying to fix it. So work it!

Reese's Peanut Butter Cups

You’ve got two sides to you in the bedroom. One is savory and takes charge and fuck like peanut butter and the other wants to cuddle after and be sweet like chocolate.

Sour Patch Kids

This is a little like Reese's Peanut Butter Cups only you’re more into being insanely sour, as in BDSM. You get naughty with that shit and then afterward are totally cool and not weird about it. You don’t kick them out after you’ve done your thing but instead are super sweet and like order them a ride home. Okay, that’s kind of sour but at least you put in the order!